We all have spent our lives believing the truths that were given to us by other people. To this very moment, and in every moment, we each have the chance to change what it is that we all believe, about ourselves as well as anyone else.
I chose this month to write mostly about what it is that we believe. I chose this month because January is when a whole lot of humans make up reasons to believe that they could not carry out whatever it was that they told other people they would do, but to themselves they were willing to deny every little thing about the truth. The truth is that we all have things we would like to change about ourselves, but what is also the truth is that we have no idea how to get around ourselves or the beliefs that we have held as our truth and which were given to us by others.
We are more willing to believe and keep alive those truths which became our beliefs and which were handed to us by other people
I have said it at least a few times, that I cannot stand a new age bully. You know who they are. They are the people who have only begun trekking their path and who, Goddess bless them, are trying dearly to understand the things that they have been told by anyone else where things about themselves and relating to Spirit is concerned. I congratulate them on finding their way to the Light, but I must tell anyone at all that when it comes to things that you know are right for you and you are finding the path that you are on to be agreeable for you, it might not be that same way for anyone else.
I won’t sit here and tell people that they are doing things the wrong way. I will sit here and say that it is time that we all realized that while we are all prone to the ridiculousness of the things that we try to hide so no one can see, that we try to deny are alive inside of us, that we try dearly not to deal with. Yet, deal with it all we must.
If we don’t deal with it, we WILL have to go through it again, and again, and again, until we have learned what we are supposed to learn.
We believe what other people tell us, and we do so without even knowing if they, themselves, believe what they tell us
I am going to get an email or four about this next thing that I have to say, but I am go to say it because for some reason the all of us, me included, seem to think that what messages we have playing over and over again in our heads and that are in the voices of our ancestors – grandparents, parents, etc. – and that they might not even believe is the truth…this is what we all end up struggling with – OTHER PEOPLES’ RULES AND TRUTHS!
Please don’t get me wrong, as there are a lot of people who have a lot of good things to tell us and their truths are invaluable. However, there are those things that we were taught as children and might have been the truth that we were told to believe when we were little, not because we were told to and told to with an absoluteness, but because that is just how we humans do things. We ARE, remember, mammals, and we are also the only animal on the planet who remain almost completely helpless until we can utter our very first clear words strung into a sentence.
Here is the part that you might end up sending me those angry emails for – the things that were the truth and that you were told to believe when you were a kid might still be the truth, but they might not be YOUR truth. The reason that you are so dearly hanging onto those truths and why it is that you still believe what it is that you were told to believe is because you are also living in the energy that is “you have to believe what we tell you – you are a stupid little kid and we are the all knowing all powerful adults.”
Ask yourself sometimes why it is that you might feel kinda dirty when you decide to not do what you were told as a kid, catch up to yourself as an adult and think about how much you do not want to do or to believe that truth anymore. Think about how you feel physically when you think about that one thing that you have held onto for so many years now and notice how you might have a tightness in your solar plexus, why it is that when that energy of just having to think about that one thing makes your stomach end up in knots.
This is called your Higher Self prompting you to think about everything that you have ever been and done to this point and not so much think of what you believed or might still believe to be your own truth that was handed to you by someone else. Now, think about how, every single time you tell yourself that what you learned no longer applies how it is that you feel somehow guilty for still believing what you know does not apply to you or your life right now.
I am not suggesting that what you believe is a lie. I am saying that you can form your own beliefs about you and about who you are that are as much the truth as was anything at all that any one of us was told when we were kids. When you think about when we were each kids, the majority of us were told about a fat man in a red velvet suit driving a sleigh through the sky, one night a year, pulled by reindeer, and that this man in the suit gets it all done as soon as every child on the planet is fast asleep. Then we were told that one Sunday every year, a giant rabbit comes hopping to our homes and leaves boiled, colored eggs hidden around our yards and that when we are done finding them all we will end up with a basket full of treats for our good deeds done. We are told that All Hallows Eve is the holiday for devil-worshipers, witches and people who are going to hell.
And…tada…because we are young and naive, we believed it all. Going back to the thing that I talked about up a few paragraphs, about that gnawing weight or that knot in the gut that is there when we know something is not the truth is also the same thing that we are not thinking about when we, ourselves, tell these same things to our kids in hopes that they won’t find out who these entities really are. We want so badly to preserve their childlike demeanor that the thought does not cross our minds that even as these were what we were told as kids, we did not like finding out the truth.
And really, this is what it is like, every single time that something that we have believed as one of our own truths is found to not be our actual truth.
The Actual Truth, their actual truth, our actual truth
I know that mine is not your truth, and that your truth is not that guy over there and is picking his nose’s truth, and it is not meant to be that we will each and all have and live the same truths. It is not the truth in its exactness that is what I am trying to bring to light. The thing that I want to bring to light are those things that we all believe that no longer apply to the each of us in the lives that we are living presently. While I have a great respect for people who believe what they will, I have no respect for people who will tell said same people that what they choose to believe is cause for God Almighty to send them to Club Hades. This does not mean that if you are a Christian, and because I claim no religious belief (I kinda like mixing a few of them together and calling them all “what Roxanne knows as her truth”) that I will take it upon myself to pound it into your brains that how I pray is the right way and how you pray is not. That is not the truth.
Also, I know, too, that what any one of us is taught by the grown ups in our lives when we were children has a lot of good energy and a lot of love and a lot of stuff we need to know when we are little, might be that which will cause anyone reading this to think that somehow, I am bashing anyone’s beliefs.
Nope, I am bashing what we are all taught to believe that is “bad” about any one of us, that would scare us and manipulate us each to believe we are somehow not good enough for whoever it was who told us what they did, bullied us as kids with the lake of fire, and then went about sinning like no one’s business all while pointing our sins out to the world and using our example, given the ages that we were when this happened, as the excuse as their being a lot more acceptable than we were. This is the ugliness that the adults in our lives give to us, and whether anyone likes it or not, we are being given old truths that were handed to them by the adults in their lives and most of the adults in their lives are no longer alive.
Oh man…hahaha…yeaaaah….can you feel that? That is called “Oh my! I hadn’t thought about THAT!” Think about it and realize that for a very long time a whole LOT of us, me included, have been feeling like we have because we are trying to make these old truths that no longer apply to us completely, the things that are also believable by us. If, after you read that thing about the truths from people who are no longer alive and felt like you just learned something new – stop right there. You did not just know this just this moment. You have, for the entirety of your life, been trying hard to get other people to believe that these truths were not yours….you can stop now. You were the only one who needed to know this about those truths versus all the ones you grew up with !
“Da ear no leessen…”
Anyone familiar with Hawaiian Pidgin English is going to know what that emboldened ear thing in quotes sounds like. This would be my Tutu Wahine, my mother’s mother, not my Nana, telling me this and all of my cousins this as well, about how when we want something to happen for us that will bring change that we want and need, that we are not willing to listen to what anyone else will tell us is a good way to try.
I understand that as children we have to have boundaries, but as children, we are taught to set those boundaries, sometimes, by people who, they themselves, are not willing to not step over those boundaries. It is a magical thing, fear is, in that we can manipulate the hell out of people with it. We have allowed a whole lot of generations of people to be raised in the energy of fear, in the energy of being manipulated and learning to manipulate other people to our gain. What we are not taught about is that when we do this we set up an air of mistrust. And hell yes that is what we went through too.
By us believing every single thing that we were ever taught, and believing those things well into our adulthood, and then seeing, with our own physical two eyes the opposite of those things we were told as kids, happen while we are adults, we are hit right then and there with one of the last things that we should be, by our parents and others in our lives, that we can call a lesson from childhood that we will not ever forget. Finding out that what we were told was said to us so that the reality of things did not have to be said to us is only a tiny part of what is the truth. The truth, for those who came before us, is very different from what we know in this day and age to be what is our own truth.
Should we continue to believe what is not ours, what we do not resonate with (such as the idea that my mother told me that some women just do not need make up…I also believe this, and that it applies to us all, really) we end up sick – physically sick even. When we fight ourselves from believing what we have formed as our own and because we are still fighting with the little kid who we were, and when we are more inclined to appease that child inside versus going within and teaching said child the truth of the truth, we hurt ourselves. We hurt ourselves because we know what we were told was not the truth, and we hurt ourselves because there is not one of us who does not want to believe what we were told, even though we know what we were told does not apply to us any longer. It does not mean that what we were told does not or will not apply to anyone, only that it does not and does not have to apply to ourselves.
The ties that bind
The last people on earth who we want to hurt are the ones who helped shape who we turned out to be. This is also something that not a lot of parents think about – the idea that while we want to be responsible for the great things that our kids do, we want to blame their shadow side’s ability to behave like bozos when they do something that they learned elsewhere. It is the ties that bind us to others that we are scared to bother. We are afraid that what we were told, some of us literally, that if we don’t do, or act, or behave like someone else would or expects us to, that we will not be loved, that we will be sent to hell.
Lots of people don’t want to think that they would do this to their kids, but at the same time, it is those people who turn their eyes away from the assumed straight son who is gay, away from the princess turned goth, away from the disappointment that is brought by their not being what we envisioned about them and that was not for them but for us to feel like we had made them become the next big thing.
Where is your brain, guys? They were the next big thing WITHOUT all the manipulating and without all of the deal making and without the thoughts in our heads that we had to, and for some of us, STILL have to adhere to the beliefs handed to us all by those who were the adults in our lives.
Those truths need to be filed away somewhere, not never to be returned, because really, we need those truths so that we know what is our truth and what is not our truth. It is not that we should not ever believe what we were told is the truth, because at the time it was told it may well have been. Right now, though, we have the kuleana to create our lives through living with and within our truth.
I Love You All !
Once again, endless beauty coupled with endless aloha from Hawai’is Camera Artist, Randy Jay Braun