The things that break us, make us

When things seem unbearable is when we are learning the most

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger…” 

While I do not know who coined that phrase, at least not off of the top of my head, I cannot stress how true these words are, because really, that which does not break us, makes us. I know this, because I am living this right now. What seems like a bunch of crap on a daily basis I know is not crap, but rather and only a whole bunch of lessons lumped into one time period in  my life because guess what – it all applies to whatever it is that I am supposed to be doing with my life, with these gifts I have, and with the people who come into my life and more, with the ones who stay in my life.

And the strangely beautiful part of this is that those same people who are in my life, even if they are not in it every single day of my life, are also going through a whole lot of crap, and the crap that they are going through is almost exactly like the crap that I am going through – not a lot of fun at all.

Yet, when we ask Spirit for things to happen for us, we do not realize that in order for things to happen for us, other things must happen to us. Without them happening to us we will not know how to explain that same thing to someone else should someone else in our circle come to us one day, out of their gourd with anxiety and frazzled to no end. Again, I know this animal, because at the moment, I could qualify as being this animal.

In fact, right now, there are a whole lot of us who could be this very animal.

You won’t believe the reason that I give you as to why it is that you are going through what you are going through

Well, actually, there are a lot of reasons why anyone goes through anything, but the one thing that no one thinks about when they are going through a whole lot of stuff is that one reason for the stuff is they are taking your attention away from the thing that you desire to have so dearly. If we dwell on the thing that you want, the thing that you will do instead is dwell on what you do not have that is comparable to the thing that you do want.

Reread that. It will make sense the second time you read it. It is because we humans are SO awesome at not being able to see things from another perspective, and another perspective that is ours alone. This is because we each have our own personality, and because my thought is that our personalities are totally Sun/Moon/Rising sign set, it is going to be from those three areas where we will see to it that the thing we are not to be dwelling on be not able to be seen right now, not even in our heads or with our Spirit’s eyes.

You see, Spirit is a funny sumbitch sometimes. Spirit, in all of Her wisdom, coupled with a sometimes seriously sick sense of humor, throws us situations and people who are difficult, people who we know with an absoluteness that we would never know if we were allowed to know just a little bit about them prior to our believing that we can deal with them. Sometimes it is to see how dearly we desire what it is that we desire to see in our lives, and sometimes it is for something that not one of us ever thinks about and that sometimes, namely when we want something so dearly, we need a distraction. Badly.

A Fish Tale

Pisces. I say a lot about them because I am one, and because I am a Pisces, I am also all of those things that a Pisces is and can be, sometimes more. One of those things that a Pisces can be is very obsessive about things, and if there is one thing that we fish need, badly, namely when we are in the middle of wanting to see something in our lives, sometimes to the point where we will obsess over it, is a distraction.

A distraction can be anything, but most of the time, the thing that can be called a distraction is one of those things that pulls our attention away from the thing we desire, long enough for us to focus our attention on the thing that is the distraction for us. When it is that we think we want to be with someone, Spirit sends the distraction that might be someone else who is as interesting but who is not who is in manifest for us. This person may want to be with us, to the point where they are distracted by us, and end up distracted by the things that they also want to see in their lives. And our job at that point is that we have to be able to stay focused, not on the other person who we desire to be in our lives, but on ourselves.

And it is a mad-making thing for anyone, really, trying to get someone else to stop obsessing over us so that we can obsess over the person we want. The reason we need the distraction is so that we can also figure out if person “A” is the right one for us. We are given the ugliness brought by person “B” so that we can have time, room and forethought to see what is not that great about person “A.” The distraction in this scenario is person “B” and the madness is our ability, or lack thereof, to not obsess over person “A” long enough so that through the shiny, rhinestone-like sparkle set forth by them and so that we can see past what is just the wrapper, so to speak.


My two best friends on this planet, April and Dannie, (of course there is still Dora…hey girl!! I ain’t forgot about ya…) both know all about being distracted from one thing long enough, just as much as I do, so that whatever is better and a better fit for us each, no matter what it is, can make its way to us. April, Goddess bless her heart, just as much as I had thought, thought she loved a guy who could be considered as “Person A,” and she and I went back and forth, reading this person, thinking that what we were reading was applicable to him. At the same time, I also had a “Person A,” and, as well, so did Dannie.

At the time, all three of us believed that each of our “Person A’s” were the right fit, and at the time that we were being sent the things and the people who would be who they were meant to be at the time they were meant to be in our lives, each “Person A” fit right nicely in our lives because each of them had a lesson to teach each of us and, also, each of these people were in place as the distraction, not only for April to have the correct “Person A” to show up and be crazy about, but also for me, which turned out to NOT be a person but instead was the most important thing in my life that was not one of my three kids – my Spiritual Practice, and Dannie, who also had the desire to return to the house – NOT the man – she started her family in, which she did.

NOW, we all had our own hearts’ desires, and all of us believed, at that time, that what we thought we desired was what we needed, but really, the things that grabbed our attention were also the things and the people who would be and could be considered the things and people who distracted us long enough so that we would not obsess over whatever could be thought as being “Person A.”

The reason for the distraction, at least according to the three of us, is so that we do not lose our minds every time something seems to sidetrack us. It was mine and Dannie’s Soul Mother, Noreen, a Spiritual Teacher who is near Dannie down south, who told both of us that when it seems that things are very difficult, that is the same time that we do not realize that the distractions we are being given are what are needed at that time so that when the thing that is worthy of us happens upon our lives, we are ready for them, no matter what it is, and also, sometimes, the “what” is actually a “who.”

In my case, it is this blog, it is my growing ability to be “on it” when I read my Hawaiian Mana Cards for people, it is my ability to help people sort out their thoughts, put them on paper so those thoughts become tangible things, and it is my absolute Love of the Soul of humanity which was my heart’s greatest desire. I come from a family of “old school” style women, the sort who, some of them, speak like an independent woman, but whose actions could never be as independent as are mine. There really is nothing wrong with their way – it is their way, and that is okay. As much, there is nothing wrong with my way, as it is also okay.

This was part of the lesson through experiencing all the crap I went through.

Experiencing all the crap we go through is good for us, even though it sucks okole

There is not one of us on this planet who cannot and will not be able to say that they have not gone through some crap in life. It is the crap in life that refines us, breaking us down and breaking away all of the things that we think are the truth of us. The truth of us is NOT what someone else tells us it is. The truth of us is ours alone, and no one can live it for us – that is ours alone.  The truth of us is not something that we are born with, but is something that we create and make our own. It is why we are different, why we have similar interests, even though we might have markedly different lives.

It is the crappy stuff that makes us grow. Without my having gone through what I did with the father of my children, I might believe that all marriages have two almost-sane people in them, but I know differently. I am insane. He is a part-time moron who is dying. What I wanted from my marriage was to be able to grow old with someone else who I cared about, and I guess what he wanted was someone who he could control. I will never know that much, at least not all the way, unless I ask Spirit for that much. I really don’t care to know. It isn’t that important.

The thing about most of the marriages, at least on one side of my family, is that all of them have been married for what seems like FOREVER. While I do not have much contact with them, I will say that I have had the very gift of watching them all become who they now are, and in the time that my mother’s siblings and their spouses have been in my memory, even though we are not each other’s favorite, I must say that these are people who stay married a long time because on that end, even I must agree, marriages are not meant to end in anything other than one of the two married people passes away. Seriously, I am very much a “until death do we part” kind of chick.


…I must also state here, and now, that I know the ugliness that has befallen each of those couples, and because I have chosen to no longer be “that cousin”…we all have one…haha…I have also taken it upon myself to see them all as the greatest social science research project that any one Science-Geek Kahu Chick from Southern California would love to observe…you know…like Jane of the Jungle observes her …ummm…subjects…anyhow…haha…

As I was saying, before I got distracted (because I do not need, any longer, to focus on how we made our marriage fail and have instead begun to be thought of as me using myself as my subject…and hell yes, I will write about it- you know it!), because I know what goes on within the confines of a marriage that lasts longer than ten years. I know, I know…there are a lot of marriages that have lasted longer than ten years, and yes, there are many which have ended. My thing is, though, that if you can live with one person for ten years of your life, you will notice what is their pattern.

It will be their pattern that will become part of the distractions as to the real reason why you are having such a shitty time at the moment. Had I not thought about it earlier today, after I had finished a reading for a lovely young lady named Mariah (hey kiddo!), about how it was that we all needed to set boundaries, it would not have dawned on me that really, when we ache and cry and whine and are just unbearable, it is not only because we are not comfy, but because of a lot of other, crappier reasons.

The crappy reasons are anything that makes us cry and ask why it is that God hates us enough to make us go through the torture that is each of our singular lives. It is comforting, sometimes, when we realize that others in our Soul Family are going through something similar to us, sometimes downright scarily similar to ours, even though it is in opposite fashion (because they are a guy and you are a chick). The ugly is what you are each going through, and the beautiful part is that you can recognize this sameness. While it may be that there is a huge difference in the literal nature of the things going on, it is not the events, but the souls which are involved.

The Collective AHHHHHHHH !

I heard it – it was the collective of you all having an A-ha! Moment. I could literally feel the release of pressure and the lifting of a weight..a collectively felt and held weight.

All this time, you have each seen your Soul Family. The traits are that they are brand new to your life, but their issues in each of their lives are not. Each of these people who are new to you are there and you have happened upon one another’s lives because of your similarities. We see bits and pieces of ourselves within them. We see them in us. Each of their Souls carries a note, an octave that is of the same energetic vibration. Because of this, at the right time, we happened upon one another’s lives for the purpose of being the mirror. There are a few right now who can see this much in me that is also in them. New people are the gift brought by the very mercy within the Soul for the Self.

You might see there, in their eyes, that sameness of Soul that seems like you have returned home, somehow, and with these people, no matter who else is in their lives and technically there in some manner that is also similar to you, you all know who you are. You know who they are because somehow, from the moment you happened upon each other, it was like you went home. In fact, it probably felt like it, a whole lot. This is what happened for me when I left the desert. I knew when I left that if anyone up there was going to be a part of my life for the rest of my life, it was going to be April. It was just there upon the return of the two similar souls in this lifetime and recognizing one another. I knew this same thing about Dannie, and, as well, Noreen.

There are others who, like them, know that they are here with me in this time and now for a purpose. Apparently, that purpose is a bicoastal one, and it is a high desert one. It is a Glendora one, and a Rancho Cucamonga one. It is a Claremont one, and an El Monte one. It is Upland, Covina, and Azusa, Pomona, La Verne, and hell yeah, San Dimas, too. It is an Ole Hawai’i Nei one, and an every where else I can think of, one. People all over the world know when they have returned to the home that is the shared Souls of Similar nature.

These new people…they, dear reader whose query did cause me to write at this length about something that seems to bedevil the very combined lot of us at the moment…these new people are the outcome of the distraction. They are the reason why you did hurt so much, and are the reason why you STILL hurt so much over the thing that made you hurt so badly in the first place. It was the misconception of the Love that you thought was only on the surface, was meant for you to show off, like a damned bracelet…

…these people are the reason for the distraction, because the only way that your mission gets carried out is with them, at this point, there, mirroring you, and me, and the all of us…

I hope that this long winded explanation about why it is that you think God hates you…God doesn’t hate you. At all. The reason for the hurt is so that you care enough about you to want to find out why it is that you hurt so much and fix it. Not that it is broken, because if you eventually learn from it, even though whining about it feels better, then all the whining is worth it.

Once again…the outcome of the hurt is the new people. You share a mission with these new people. You have something that they need to carry out their mission. They have something that you need to carry out your mission. You also share a mission with them that is the same, but your purpose will be different. These new people are there now, are the gift given to quell the ache caused by the fire of refinement.

BUT…it is the distraction of getting to this point, to reading this so that you would finally KNOW that they are the outcome of your manifested desires. You each have a purpose and a mission. Without the sucky part of your life, of anyone’s life, you cannot see the sweetness that is the reward at the end that is Love and knowing that no matter who you believe does not value you, at least you know now that when the lesson was finally learned by you, you realized at that point that you Loved yourself enough to go through all the bullshit you went through.

And look at you now…

…kick ass, right?


I Love You All !! hahahaha


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About ReverendRoxie22

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