It is the expectation of a certain outcome that lets us down – NOT other people
Human beings have a very bad habit of being so self-centered that when we set our sights on something, and we want it badly enough to have to go through proverbial hoops to have it, and then when the other people involved in the outcome that we have drooled over for far too long is not what we had set our sights on, we end up angry, ashamed of our choices, and most of all, we end up hurt. We hurt because when we want something so badly and it doesn’t come into being the way that we had our sights set on it, we end up disappointed.
It is in the disappointment where we see ourselves for real, because all of our lives, collectively, we have been told who we are and told and reminded that if we are not willing to give up who we are and what we know we deserve, if we are not willing to sacrifice every single little piece of ourselves for someone else’s cause, then somehow, we are not right. This is the thing that the majority of us have grown up thinking, that we have to do for others so that we can have a tiny bit of their conditional love.
By saying that it is the disappointment which shows us our true selves, we have to think about it in terms of the leaf of an aloe vera plant. On the outside, while it is the truth of things that this plant has spiny sides that can poke you and it might hurt a little bit, it is not the only truth about this plant. There is the other truth that sits inside of it, that is medicinal and tastes bad even as it is so very good for us. In that same light, while it is that on the outside, we are smiling and happy and thinking that we have it all together, the truth is that, for a lot of us, the inside does not match the outside. Another scenario would be when a friend says that they will help us out with something or someone, and on the outside, they are telling us that they have our best interest at heart, and then one day we find out what is their truth. One day, we find out what we sorta knew for awhile, and what we knew for however long it was that we knew it, is the thing that we have tried to NOT deal with.
It is not the idea that someone will tell us that they will do something for us or be someone in our lives and according to our own plan as much as the expectation that they will live up to what it is that they are telling us that they will do, and more, what their energy is saying that they are going to do that is different than what words come out of their mouths.
Simply put – this means that no matter what we want, no matter what we see with our mind’s eyes, no matter that we are putting forth certain energy toward an end result, it is not up to us to make the choice for other people and dammit if we humans are not somehow too arrogant to think that maybe our idea of a thing compared with another person’s idea of a thing is NOT the same thing. It is like wanting a certain person as our significant other, and we do dirty things to other people so that we can be with that person, and in the end, when all is said and done and we are found out and have to admit the truth, we want to blame someone else, even though we knew all along that the outcome we wanted is not the outcome that will be. This is called disappointment, and it is a disappointment that we have brought to ourselves and through our own means.
We expect people to live up to their words
We expect other people to do what they say they are going to do, and when they don’t, we want to know why. A lot of the time we are depending, not on that they will do what they say, but that they will place as much importance onto what it is that they say they will do in regards to how it is that their words will affect our lives. When we tell other people anything at all, namely when it is for them, it is wise to NOT tell them things just so that they will be appeased and so that we don’t have to be the bad guy (you know…the person who always wants to tell the truth, even if it hurts someone?). When we tell people that we will do something for them, and then we don’t do it, it not only affects them and their lives, but more, it makes us not trustworthy.
That is what the energy of expectation does, too – it breaks our trust in people, and the ugly part, the truth part of it, is that on that end, when we expect the outcome that we want to see versus the best outcome for all involved, it is we who are at fault. (I said it. Deal with it.) Expectation makes us want things to be ONLY the way that we want them to be and does not allow for other people to have their own measure of free will. When it is that we are willing to mess with the free will of other people so that we can have what we think we want by any means at all, and we are willing to be the whore and the slave of our wants rather than the obedient student of our Kuleana in life, it is then that we are setting up our own failure in life.
Another thing is that when we say we will help with something, and all the while, the only one who we were trying to help was ourselves. When you have to lie to people to get what you want, and then when the truth comes to be, and it is not the truth we wanted, our entire lives are shattered, and it is because we expected the outcome we wanted and were not willing to see it any other way.
The Free Will of Other People
I say it ALL THE TIME – DO NOT F*CK WITH THE FREE WILL OF OTHER PEOPLE. It is something that I am asked often, if I am able to “do things” that will manipulate the energies of other people so as to bring about a set desired outcome of only one of them. This is not the way that the things I do for my work in life are meant to be. At all. Anyone who is one who plays with the energies around us KNOWS that the one thing that we CANNOT do is to make it so that one person in the mix up ends up getting what they want regardless of what it is that everyone involved in that learning and HAS TO learn.
And it really doesn’t matter, because the truth is that no matter what, whatever is meant to happen is GOING TO happen, and there is not one damned thing that any one of us can do about it. Even if you have someone come on into your life, mess with the energies that surround a situation so that everything you want to happen that is beneficial to you and does NOTHING for anyone else, and you end up with EXACTLY the thing that you wanted, you will still have to deal with the reality and the truth of the actuality of the lesson and you will still have to go through the pain and the heart ache and wow…you are SUCH a hero…you have also dragged other people into your selfishness. (And more than much else, if you listen to nothing else that I have been teaching for years now, take heed and heart to this next thing….which is to NOT try hard to get into the good graces of people who you fucked with because they are only going to leave you cold and without the outcome you want…)
That’s right…you read it right, and I know this is right because my silly ass only recently learned this lesson. I learned not too long ago that no matter what I want, if it is not meant, it is not going to happen. Sure, things might be what they are in this very moment in time, but the bottom of it all is that because my silly ass did something not on the up and up, even while I might have gotten what I wanted when I set out on my own ignorant and arrogant ventures in spiritual leanings, at this time, I do not have those things.
It is okay that I don’t have them, because when I wanted them, they made sense. Now that I have become the person who I am, I know better. I know that the things that I want will be mine, but they will take time, because no one can just make things happen that fast. If it is that we want true Love, we have to see what is wrong with our own thoughts about what Love and partnership is and have to make them right. If it is new means of income, we know that it takes thought about what it is that we are really great at and also really great at and willing to do the work involved to see it to successful fruition. Things that we want and desire in our lives take time to bring into manifestation. Period.
This is also the same thing with people. We need people, but we need more to not screw with them and allow them to make their own minds up when it is in regards to us and who they are to us and in our lives. We can no more make someone else do what we want them to, no matter how badly we want them to do it, and even if they do it, they will …WILL be going back to the truth that is theirs, and if the truth that is theirs DOES NOT INCLUDE YOU IN THE MANNER THAT YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD MANIPULATE THEM TO BE THERE AS, this would be part of the lesson that YOU need to learn.
When you expect that your shady ways of dealing with people will be successful, and when they are successful through those shady means, NOTHING PERMANENT comes from it and ALWAYS THE TRUTH WILL BE REVEALED. This is the beauty of things that people fail to see, at least the people who employ such miserable tactics onto the lives of others when what it is that said employers see what they want and want it at any cost. The only person who will lose in this sort of thing is the person who is not willing to be upfront and right minded and who manipulates, through the use of friendship and siding with people, just to get to the thing that they want.
My apologies if I offend, but that’s as dirty as it gets. If you are not wise in your ways with people, and you choose to see only your own ends in anything at all, most assuredly, it will be alone that you will find yourself, stuck in the misery that you yourself created.
And over the expectation of an outcome that was never going to be all what you wanted it to be.
Take a lesson in wisdom….stop manipulating other peoples’ means to get to your ends. If you expect what you know you cannot have, you deserve the mess that you create with it.
I LOVE YOU ALL !
- Truth (thisojournerstruth.wordpress.com)
- Others cannot define you (tkcoleman.com)
- LIES hurt more than TRUTH (unfragmentedthoughts.wordpress.com)
- What is the truth? (masuland.wordpress.com)
- Speak Ill of No Man (thesecondpaige.com)
- Unmet Expectations (journey231.wordpress.com)
- Reality Bites? No, Expectation Does. (closertothescreen.wordpress.com)
- The Power of Surrendering: Let Go of Control to Be Peaceful and Free (tinybuddha.com)
- The Bondage of Expectations (robertmudge.net)