How to see Loss in a whole new way

No one likes to lose, ever. 

I used to be a very sore loser. It was because my whole life I was shown that people who lose, no matter what it is that they lose, always lose. I was taught that to be someone who loses, that this makes you a loser. What no one pounded into my head at that time was that my losses were not really losses. What I was never taught was the ability to see that maybe the things and people and situations in my life, at any time in my life, were not really losses but more and instead were times when whatever it was, or whoever it was, that would no longer be part of my life anymore, that it was not a loss, but a clearing.

Yes, a clearing. Clearing. Cleansing. Ridding or manipulation of the energy that is loss to see it another, more useful way is what I was never taught how to do. I had to learn to deal with things all on my own. While it was that I was taught as a kid to “trust the Lord,” which, make no mistake, I DID indeed trust my parents’ God, I have accepted at this point in my life that the reason it seemed, from time to time, that I was lost was NOT because I was lost, but because I never really and totally trusted the God who my parents worshiped, which eventually led me to trust nothing at all. I was told what I could believe, and that was that. I was told that I could trust nothing more than “The Lord” and that “The Lord” would handle all of my woes and all of my worries.

What no one told me about “The Lord” is that I needed to believe in what “The Lord” held for me. How was I to do that when  my whole life I was also scared to death of “The Lord.” I knew as a kid that one day, I would do as the R.E.M. song states and would eventually lose my religion. And I did, but I did not lose my belief in a Higher Power. I lost a part of my Self when I accepted that maybe my Mom’s “Lord” was not the “Lord” that would do best for or by me, and it is because I could not trust in a male entity who wanted an absoluteness of energy when it came to those who would follow his holy name. I could not then, much as I will not ever, bow down to a force called “The Lord,” even though I will say never not respect those who do believe in that same manner.

This was a significant loss for me in that all along, I wanted to totally believe that the god to whom my parents kneeled, and the very same one that I grew up believing in, would not be the very one to whom I chose to kneel any longer. It hurt me to feel like I had been chipping away at something that my mother built within me all my life, and when I finally came to the realization that what she taught me, I learned, it was like the storm passed. The guilt from not wanting to be called “saved” anymore finally left me, because it was not the indoctrination of a text called “The Holy Bible” that she was teaching me, but instead was the passionate nature of what she believed that stays with me.

You see, we each know when something is not right, and we are each more inclined to try hard to make what does not fit, fit, and we do this most of the time when someone else who is important to our Self has some sort of stake in it. In my case, it was my mother’s very dear belief that her God has and always will take care of her. In my case, I, too, believe, will never NOT believe, that Spirit and all of Her helpers will always be right there. I will always know to look at things from a spiritual perspective, and will always follow what is my first inclination from that energy that I carry with me that tells me that I am right and good in the eyes and the arms of Spirit, that no matter who judges me as this, that or the other, that in the eyes of the Goddess, I am the perfect representation of Her, am the whole picture of who I am supposed to be at this moment in time in my life, and that, above all, I am settled, happy and comfortable in the warmth that is the Love of the Mother Goddess.

Mama said there’d be days like this

It should be without mention that I have been through a lot lately, that a lot of us have been through more than our own fair share, but this is not something that the majority of us do not think about. All adults who are of a certain age have all lost something, someone, at one time or another, and in those losses there is always that one that will not leave our thoughts, and this is with reason. If we no longer think about the thing that we lost, we cannot see the thing that came along and made it seem like what we lost was not that big of a deal. Even though our losses can be thought of as gigantic huge deals, the fact of the matter is that unless and until we can see them as steps to other and better things, they will always only seem like losses.

What no one is really ever taught is that we lose things all the time. My best example is that everyday, every person who has a hair on their head loses at least 100 hairs every day. Yet, we won’t think about it unless we have to or unless someone else says something about it just as I just did. We lose the hairs on our heads because there is another hair growing in behind it, or maybe the hair that fell out broke off – whatever is the reason we lose those hairs is irrelevant to the one purpose that it falls out. Our hair falls out, for the most part and in most cases, because a new one is growing in and has started pushing the old ones out.

If we could think of things in this manner, like the things and people and situations in our lives as being like those hairs which fall out every single day, we would also see that in that way, just like the very hairs on your head, the people in your life, the situations in your life, the things in your life, all will fall away to make room for better people, things and situations. The old must go. This is not my rule but is the very rule of the grander universe.  I have written it in the past, have been told so by my many esteemed Spiritual teachers that if there is anything at all the the Universe abhors it is a void.

The Void is the reason that we get what we get when we think about the things that we need, want, desire, and more, do not want, need or desire, and the funny part about us human beings is that we are more inclined to dwell on what we do not want, rather than to daydream about what we do want. We have been conditioned to believe in the idea that who we are is not big enough to make a difference in our lives, have been taught, again and again, that we have to work at everything, and the truth is that yes, we do have to work, but most of the time we are working to keep our own selves sane from the things that we try to do that bear no fruit other than what we perceive as more losses.

I have a few friends who are in the middle of things going awry at the moment, and at the moment, they know exactly what it is that they need to do, but at the moment the thing that they have yet to do is accept that things, at this very moment in time, without going backwards or diving ahead forward and sticking only in this moment, the thing that has yet to be done is to accept this very moment. When we can accept this very moment, and utilize what it is that has created the void is when we can begin to release the emotional tendency that humans have that tell us that if we let things go, we are losing what control we have over whatever it is that is making us crazy at the time.

That’s right – what we think we are doing is anything but what needs to actually be done. When we try hard to not hurt others, what we are not thinking about is that maybe they are meant to be in that energy and that no matter what we try to do to help, that we will not be able to help, because the simple fact is that it is not our battle. The way that this ties into this and you being involved with anything that is not your own is that when you make it your own, and things go awry, you have invited in to your life the loss that has yet to be created.

Read that again if you will – when you choose to venture into a place where you know you are going to end up losing, and you still venture there, you have begun the start of the loss. Think about that and realize that it is the truth. There have been several times in my own life that I wanted to do something so dearly and someone else brought me what I needed for it to all happen, but something also told me that while these people had what I needed in a technical sense, what they lacked in a soul sense is what caused me to lose out on a dream that belonged to someone else. I wanted so badly to see them see their dream and in that want I realized loss.

And the bitch of it all was that it was not my loss to begin with but that in that energy I created the loss on my own.

Rather than trying to avoid losing things and people, perhaps it might be time that we all chose to see things as the chance to learn how not to lose what we need in our lives.

Perhaps it is time that we all see the gains brought by the loss




About ReverendRoxie22

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