That which lurks beneath

What you see above the surface only tells a small part of the story

To see me these days is to not realize that I have been through what a whole lot of people would deem as being “hell.” I have had to get through a whole lot, and ahead of me there are still a few things that I have to deal with, and deal with them beginning now and right in this moment. It is not that I have not dealt with what is left, but that there is no real way to prepare one’s self for certain, life-altering events that are upon me. I can sit here and tell anyone within earshot that indeed, I am ready for that one last thing that is going to happen, but the very truth of me is that there is no one real way for me to prepare for it, no real way for me to be completely ready for it all to culminate, and that really, I may be as ready as I am going to be at this moment ,because, really, there is no way to deal with what is ahead of me.  I have never been right where I am at this time.

There are a few people who know what I am talking about, and really, the thing that is ahead of me is not really that big of a deal, even though it can be and has been thought of being just exactly that – a big fat hairy giant deal.  That I refuse to say what it is here is one thing, but that i cannot say enough about how this one event that is impending and unavoidable for me is as giant as it is in terms of learning my own measure of strength, of my ability to heal from the wounds of the past through the employ of that energy of woundedness, that has been the greatest teacher of all in that what hurt me did not kill me…well, we shall say that on the outside, while i am reserved about what it is that I am faced with is one thing. That I am freaking out on the inside is quite another thing, because I have made freaking out internally and quietly to that of an art form.

To have been through what anyone would go through that was the lessons brought about through the pleadings of the Soul within is one thing, but the other thing about this all is that when we are learning anything, we are supposed to use the pain and the agony, along with the glory and the victory, that is the light and energy of the Soul. It is the soul which is the teacher, rather than the actual teacher, and which is the part of us that either “gets it” or does not, in terms of what it is that we are learning and of that which lurks beneath. Where it is that there is pain within, it is the seeds created from that pain in the void that we are choosing to fill that void with ,which brings about the lessons we so dearly need and have asked for.

Beneath the Surface

It is beneath the proverbial surface of things where the lessons at hand are learned. For the outer, physical world to respond with the manifestation of the intended “thing” , there has to be an inner world that is the energy from where that thing grows. Our growth in the soul is what happens when we are hurt by the things that are outside of us and that, for the most part, we have no control over. It is not the thing that happens on the outside of us that is the teacher only, but the energetic response on the inside that brings about the rest of the culminated “thing” that we are waiting for.

Beneath the surface is where the energy counts, and it counts in a big fat hairy way, because it is not the way that we see with the Ego that matters, but more, the way that the Soul responds to the energy and how the Soul understands the way that it is reading the energy. If you are hurt by the energy on the outside, the corresponding energy will be the feeling of that hurt, and more of that hurt will be what comes to us if we are not willing to look at it and address it and deal with it on the level that we are feeling and experiencing it. 

How we feel about anything dictates also how we will view anything.

If we feel in the soul that what we are looking at and faced with is not worth the time that we know it is going to take in order to grow from whatever it is that is pissing us off, our time with that lesson will be long and difficult. If we are only willing to see what is the hard work involved in anything, then the only thing that we are ever going to connect with is the hard work and we all know that for the most part, hard work sucks. If we are willing to keep an open mind and heart and soul about ourselves, and we are willing to see the hard work as being the catalyst which will spawn the future and the since it is that we cannot see the actuality of the future but that we are able to plant the seeds of the future right at this very moment in time, we will find that the hard work in relation to the energy being created by us and for us is all meant and when something is meant, it will just be. 

The way that we are willing to see a situation, a person, a place, a thought, is the way that the outer energy will respond. We are in control of how we feel about anything at all, and when we realize that the things that we are thinking are also the things which are dictating how we feel, we can, at that time, tear it all apart, bit by bit, and find out where it is that we are not thinkin’ right about anything.

The Way that we are willing to see anything is the actuality of what is our belief

If the only way that you see and judge what is your own thought by the way that what you have shared with someone else and that they are also judging as being your truth, you are allowing someone else’s thoughts to direct your beliefs. Again, beliefs are not just the religious type, but are also the things that you are willing to believe about yourself.

The things that play over and over again in your head are the things that have shaped you to this point. The things that are there and just beneath the surface of your Self and the version of you who is “in the real” and who people see as You was created by every little thing that has ever happened in your life. Whatever it is that has happened to you, with you, for you, by you has been what has brought you to this consciousness in the manner that you are here and now.

Because of everything that you have been through, have seen or done, said, heard – all of it brought you to this belief about you that you think is the only truth and also that you might believe will always be the  only truth that is yours. When you can acknowledge all that lurks beneath the surface and when you can accept those things about you that might not be that great, it will be at that time where all that has happened and has taught you, no matter what you have learned, comes into play.

You become the evidence of how you have grown to be who you are now and become the proof that indeed, thoughts are things.

The thoughts that you have had all this time that were not the greatest about your self have been what have brought you to this point where you feel like everything is not that great in your life. If you think this way, things will end up this way, and this same thing is the truth the other way, the positive way. Too many of us are not willing to acknowledge what is there and lurking beneath the surface of who we show the world we are. Too many of us want to believe that the facade with the smile and the sparkling eyes, even as there is an emptiness behind the sparkle, is the reality of who we each and all are.

We have all grown into a collective mess of a whole that no one can deal with, and we cannot deal with it because the truth of us as that whole is that we are tired of living the lie that is pretend happiness. All we have been taught to do our entire collective life is to not show emotion, to not let the world know when we need something, and then we store that emotional upset in the Bones of our Souls.

Eventually, the Bones, they break, and we end up puking our soul out through the tears that were never cried, and the rage that was never allowed to surface, and the resentment that we never bothered to acknowledge. Things that bother us tend to stay with us until we are able to resolve them. We cannot NOT resolve them, but we try our damnedest to ignore the things that make us hurt. When we ignore our hurt , we do not grow. When we do not grow, we cannot live.

When we bother to deal with the things that lurk beneath the facade, beneath the surface of who we tell the world we are, versus the reality of who we are, beneath, then and only then is when real growth, the sort we are afraid to happen for us because we do not want to face the things that lurk and hide and make us crazy.

When we can face the demons which lurk beneath the surface of the facade is when the growing pains we are meant to feel become all the more real. We need to feel them, no matter and regardless if whether or not we want to.

We want to grow, but we want to stick with what has not worked, ever.

Learn to embrace the hurting, accept the ugliness that has happened in your life and then stretch to accommodate who you are becoming.

What lurks beneath is the reality of who you are.

Stop hiding it.



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