We are empowered to change our lives, but much depends on your willingness to change it for your own self
When we decide that we want to change for ourselves, it is not something that is a tiny little thing to do – it takes work, and more, it takes a change in your attitude more than anything else
I have been told that I have an attitude. It is not a bad one, but just an attitude. This is something that is not uncommon between women of a certain age and a certain era, that we have attitudes. That is different than the attitude toward change and the things that we each have to go through in order to exact change. Change is not easy, and change takes work, and change is one of those things that no one wants to do if it is going to suck. Changing anything about ourselves that we think is just fine and dandy does suck. However, the change that I am talking about is not that kind of change. The change that I am talking about is the sort of change which happens on the inside and affects the world we perceive on the outside.
The World We Perceive on the Outside
Whether you like it or not, whether you believe it or not, whether you accept it or not, everything and your perception of everything is totally based on you. That there are people on this planet and in our lives that dearly piss us off, the fact of the matter is that you have to care about something in order to have an emotional reaction to it, and if you care about it, it means that whatever it is outside of you affects you some way and whether you want to take it as the truth or not that YOU and YOUR THOUGHTS and YOUR ASSUMPTIONS and YOUR FREAKIN’ ROLE in EVERYTHING THAT YOU SEE is because of YOU.
If you have been an ass hat for a long time, and you have been this way to other people, and those people, in the past, have taken the high road and forgave you, you should NOT have gone back, the last time that they pissed you off, and had the same god damned reaction that you had previously, because you are not doing anything that is in right alignment with your Soul. Take for instance the fact that I am a DV survivor, and I am VERY KEENLY aware of it when I am in the presence, not only of victims of abuse, other survivors, but more than anything else, abusive people. I know when someone is trying to pull a fast one on me, and it is because of my own past history with an abusive person…with more than only one person, really….and because I do not want to be someone’s victim again, I perceive things in the manner that keeps me on my toes, my awareness heightened, namely when in the company of strangers, and more than much else, I am very dearly aware of it when I am being lied to. This is not something that I wanted to happen, but in a few ways it taught me how to become aware of who I can trust, and more, who I cannot trust right away and who it is who will not change.
Change is important. If we are not willing to change for ourselves then how can we begin to believe that anyone who we have hurt or done wrong to in the past will forgive us, let alone trust us or want to be with us in any capacity at all? How can anyone who thinks that what they want in their life is going to come from someone else…how can any one believe that doing the same stupid shit that they did in the past is somehow going to make things in the Now, better?
It won’t. It won’t because you are not wanting to see that change is right there and staring you in the face. It won’t because you refuse to see to it that there may be other, better ways of handling the changes that you alone are going through but that you also and alone are blaming others for bringing to your life.
You can only try convincing other people that you are not the one who is to blame for all of the pain in your life. It will not last forever. Eventually people get really tired of listening to our droning on and on about how other people brought this or that experience to our lives, and while that might be the truth, the way that you felt about those things and those happenings and how you handled them all is what you brought to the table and is now forcing you to think about how it is that again, you are only bringing to these people your own brand of hatred, and your own brand of blame, and your own polluted energy that you really intend on using to make you seem different. But you are not different. You have not allowed your own changes and you totally expect other people to conform to your energy.
It won’t happen, again, because you can only do so much before people are on to you. You can only expend as much energy as you are willing to get back in return. And the energy that you get back in return will be the same thing that you send out, meaning that if you choose to exert energy that is controlling, that is weighted down with your own bullshit, you will get it right back in return in the same manner. Such as, say you have a friend who you pissed off and you never made it right between you. You chose, instead, to continue on as though what you said or did was somehow just not as big a deal as they made out of it. The big deal was not the action, but the energy that your friend knew was behind the action. Time goes by, and the friend doesn’t forget, and one day, Karma comes knockin’ and you are met with the equivalent energy in opposition to the energy you initially sent out, which isn’t the thing that was the initial thing, but your energy behind it that was so very nonchalant about the way that what you did or said about or to them – THAT is what is affecting things and that is what is making you feel like somehow, your friend really doesn’t want you around.
It is not that they no longer want you around anymore, but that you remained in the energy and the thought that since it was not such a big deal to you, that it is not, was not and should not be such a big deal to anyone else either. This is the same thing that happens to an Abuse survivor. When we are hurt emotionally, and that emotional infraction is also backed up with the actions that are hitting, or pushing, or punching, or choking or ripping out earrings and pulling hair…these are the actions of the abuser’s intention manifested. Once it is that someone has been hurt emotionally, and that hurt has been proved to a person by the physical manifestation of the abuser’s intent through physical harm – this is the energy circle, and is incomplete. That the victim is able to forgive is one thing, but that the abuser is clueless and arrogant, so much so that they would not be able to feel the bullshit there and immense is what energy is all about.
In order for this to not be like this, and using the example of the abuse cycle, we see that there is intent, that there is fear and that there is mistrust, and all of these things can be changed but only if the two parties involved will allow those changes. Abusers think that they are right, that whoever it was that they hurt deserved that hurt and that no matter what, their being ass hurt by what they perceive to be the thing that someone else did against them is what needs to change. The perception that anyone else has the right, the ability, the choice to use anything against anyone else at all is what needs to change. Once we can see things from the perspective of other people is when it is that we can heal on our own.
It is not until we can see to it that how we feel about things in our lives – our OWN lives without relation to anyone else’s lives, no matter who they are in our lives – according to what we do and think and feel and give in terms of energy to someone else that we realize our own Power. Our own Power is something that we have been taught, collectively, that who we are depends on what other people think of us, depends on what we think other people need to do for us in order for us to have the massive changes in our own lives. It is all related to our attitude about a lot of things. The way that we feel about someone else and what they are doing which we think affects our lives is not anyone else’s business unless we orate those things and take responsibility for the way that we feel about those things in relation to who we are in terms of who we think they are in our lives.
Reread that…we have to be willing to take responsibility for the way that we feel and have to knock off the bullshit of pinning the things that hurt us onto other people. NO ONE MAKES ANOTHER PERSON FEEL ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, as that is a mechanism of our overblown egos. WE are, each and only, responsible for the way that we feel, even if it because of something that someone else said or did. It is not their problem if we hurt. While it might be their cause, it is not their pain, it is yours. While they may be who brought it, they are not who is hurting over it – you are.
The Universal Law of Change tells us that when we go through the internal changes that we go through, that it is in that action of evolution where we know within that we are learning something. When we choose not to do anything about something, we end up going through those things over and over again.
When we choose to have a different thought, yes, even about the way that we think about things, it is then that we will know, without a doubt, that we have exacted that which needs to be exacted into being.
At that point, we are called to look at the demon called Change, embrace it, and realize that it is not a demon, but very well may be the thing that we need the very most. Changing one’s attitude about things brings about better things for us.
A change in you is what is needed.
You are who matters most in the world called Yours.
You are the reason for the pain, because you keep thinking it is never going to go away.
Be also the reason that you will heal from it all…
I Love You All !