Your tears are not for anyone else but YOU

I Know You got more Tears to share, Babe…(Janis Joplin’s “Cry Baby”)

It is not time right now to cry for anything other than that we are, collectively, not very comfortable…but the thing is…well, just read it…yeesh!

Well now…let’s see what we have here, shall we? There are a whole lot of us on this planet right now who are knowing well what the tears are all about, what the hurting is meant for, and what the lesson is at the end, and we know this because it is our job, literally for some of us (y’all know who you are) as Light Workers to know it. We are not here for the purpose of breaking your hearts and then walking away. Our purpose is to make all those things that you are just not seeing as your lesson make sense. So, be ass hurt if you care to, because it is not as though we already have not dealt with all of our charges’ tears, anger, venom, the feeling that we are, somehow, the ones who you need to strike out at. We are not. 

In fact, no one is.

And here we go again, one more time (I cannot believe I actually have to go there but here we go…and really, I do not give two shits about what this says to you. You can take it as you like. Eventually, you will get it, we hope…yes, we…)

You are meant to cry. Yup. You read it right. I said it. Now deal with it. You, yourselves have brought to your own life these lessons, and they are not lessons in how to lose, but how to be strong. They are not lessons that you, yourself, prior to your incarnation to this consciousness, did not ask for. That’s right – you asked for these things to come to you, and no, you were not given any kind of warning (you weren’t supposed to be able to prepare for them…that is why they are called LESSONS and it is all called LEARNING…YEESH), and here you are now in the here and the Now and you are just beside yourself. I promise, I know what you are feeling (some of you literally) and I know that it is tough, but I also know that there are a lot of things going on in all of our lives that call for us to evolve to the next level of awareness, and that there are some of us on this planet who are just not able, or at least believe that you are not able, to deal with the pain.

Deal with it

We are never sent to this lifetime without some sort of agenda. We are not here to remain as we are, unpolished and with all of these dings and dents. We cannot think about what it is that we want to believe is lost for us. The truth is that sometimes the things that we hang on to and the things and people that we want to believe make us who we are may very well be the things and the people who are causing us not to grow. Yes, baby dolls, I know…growing is painful, but it is meant to be that way, because if it ain’t painful, we won’t learn a god damned thing. 

It is meant, like when a child grows physically, to suck. It is supposed to suck. (okay, so some lessons are actually not sucky but you get the idea, I hope)You are not supposed to stay in the manifestation that you are in right now. There is nothing cool about people running around in circles, nothing cool about people behaving as the biblical dogs who return to their vomit hoping that no one sees it. I am telling you NOW that we see it…we ALL see it, and whether it is that you believe that we see it, and no matter what sort of things you think you are going to do to avoid being seen for real, always, we know. Healers, Shaman, Kahuna, Priestesses, Ministers, Teachers…Light Workers KNOW, not only what all this crap is about, but more, that the resistance that a lot of folks are putting up right now is what is killing your energy right now, and on behalf of all of my fellow professional weirdos, I am not even ASKING that you all pull your heads out of your asses, but I am asking you that you at least take a look around there, right there where it should only be an exit, take a whiff and try hard to see in the dark…

Can’t do it, can you?

Hell No! You cannot see in the darkness…so please, pull your heads out…like, yesterday

Nope. There ain’t any way that I am talking to ONE person, but to the entirety of the whole of people who believe that they do not have to do the work involved in evolving to your own Self. The tears you are crying are from you and FOR you. Let me stress that again, okay?

The tears you are crying are from you and FOR you. The tears that you are crying are not anyone else’s business, fault, making. They are evidence that your soul is exhausted, that you have come to this place that really, no one wants to be at, because being right here and right now sucks ass. I get it. It hurts too much. It is painful. It is not what you thought you would ever have to deal with, because in EVERYONE’S heads who are smack in the middle of the throes of the hurt is also the thought that someone else caused this. Right there in the middle of your mind you are angry, and in the middle of your soul, you are hurting, and the little kid who lives inside of the soul is confused. When that kid is confused there is only one parent, and that parent is YOU, and when you hang on to things and ways of being that are not the right things or ways of being, that kid within tells you.

The kid within is who you are trying to appease, but that is not what the kid within needs. The kid within needs the parent within to soothe it, to tell him or her that all is as it is meant to be at the moment. The kid within needs us to wake up, show it the way, not make the pain go away, at least not the way that any one of us would believe that is the best way. At the moment, the best way that any of us can think of is the fastest way, is the easiest way, but neither of those two things are the truth.

Neither the pain nor the lesson will go away. 

The more we resist, the harder it becomes, because we want to believe that what it is that we have here as the pain that we don’t want is something that is temporary – it is, but if you keep hanging on to things you know ain’t there for you to learn from anymore, it won’t be, and it will be your choosing that will keep it this way. Let me tell you this much, and this is coming from someone who, at one time in her life, may have appeared to “have it all”…nice house at a private golf course community…5 cars- and I owned them all…a golf cart…new one every other year…friends…a great little dance company. By any and all appearances, truly, to some people, I “had it all,” but the reality is that I have none of those things right now (okay, the real friends who I met and Loved up in the desert I still have those people in my life…Love You!), and the truth is that really, I am glad for it. My things, my life, and who I thought I was were what controlled me. These days, even now as I am in the middle of a LOT OF CRAP I WOULD RATHER NOT BE IN THE MIDDLE OF, I am better off, even without everything that I thought I needed. The thought was that I would never have to do things that suck because I ‘had it all.” The thought was that even though I was married to this …person…who gave me everything …THING…that I wanted, the one thing that he could never give to me was his original self, because to that guy his original self was a broke ass when in reality his broke ass was more like a broken soul. When the soul is broken the only thing that anyone can do is go through the painful process of healing.

I learned well that I can do this life thing on my own. Yes, I have a couple of really great friends, and I have amazing spirit students, and I love them all. I might not be able to tend to them all every single day, but I asked for them to be here, so that my own message, the ones that I  get directly from the great beyond, could be imparted, not only like this (in writing) but also through their example of them being EXACTLY who they are and who they are meant to be. Once it was that I started to let go of things (I promise…it is NOT EASY but SO worth it), I realized that the reason that I hurt so freakin’ much was because of ME. I hurt so much because I was allowing what happened to me that came from other people and situations in my own life to own me, to be the thing that colored my daily life and my entire world.

I had to stop it, had to learn that I was who was and is and has always been in control and NOT what someone else did, said or was to me. When we allow outer forces to decide for us how our manifestations come into being, we let go of our own control of things. The only person who is in control of things is us. Get that much through your thoughts and head right now, and yes, deal with it, because truth is never anything but truth. Sometimes it is a harsh truth. Sometimes it is a truth that makes us happy. ALL THE TIME IT IS THE TRUTH NO MATTER WHAT, and the truth at the moment is that the pain you feel is going to teach you, one way or another. The pain you feel is rooted in fear, of not being good enough, of not having what you want to believe is yours because of YOU, of doing everything not according to someone else’s beliefs, no matter what those beliefs are.

We can no more control other people than we can bother to try to make them see things, literally, through our eyes. It ain’t gonna happen. It will never happen that way because sometimes what is going on does not include or involve who we are no matter what. This is a hard lesson, I know, and it is not one that too many of us volunteer for from our own human brain. No, you volunteer LONG before you come into this lifetime. You give yourself to these lessons so that you can grow and be who you are meant to be and NOT who you think you are. That is the Ego telling you that it knows better than your Soul does and NEVER does your Ego know better than your Soul, ever. The reason that it hurts is because the Ego self is telling you that you did it wrong, that you are not right, that the pain is something that you have to push away when in reality the pain is something that you have to welcome and pay attention to, something that is your soul’s responsibility (Kuleana). The more you resist it, the bigger the pain, and it gets bigger so you can do something more important that is not only learning or growing…it is so that you no longer, at least in that one area of your life, have to bother with the damned “duh moments” that you do not realize you are having.

No one thinks about it, but when we are hanging on to things that we think will make us feel better, we might actually be hanging on to the things or even the one thing in our lives that is actually hindering who we are and getting in the damned way of our paths and our healing and our lessening of those damned “duh moments.”

OK…there it is…I said it, and I meant it, now get out into the big fat world and DEAL WITH IT!

Yeesh !!
…but still, you know it..


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