No time for all this darkness…

We cannot hope for change if we are too busy with what happened in the past

If there is anything that I have learned very well over these last twelve months it is that there is no room for hanging on to old darkness, no hanging on to things such as self-hatreds, no room or time for anyone with a clue and a heart and soul to NOT try to get past all the things that break our hearts. This morning I will be using the idea that within an ethnicity there are many self-hatreds, and there are people within those ethnic groups who use the dark energies produced by those cellular thoughts about who we are collectively and who will profit in some manner from those hatreds, and the sickest part is not only that they will be paid huge sums for the opinions that they hold, opinions which are similar in nature to the collective and ancestral hatreds from the past, but the hatreds offered by these dark souls will be believed and held as the absoluteness of Truth and it will be so for no other reason than that the ignorance which have been adopted as the Truth of a people will have more power set by the collective than will the power of United Love.

Hate that is generations old.

These are hatreds that are not only generations old, but historically old, meaning that these hatreds are a part of our own ethnic history and they are the thing that separate nations of peoples from within. This is the beast which has beget the hatreds. This is the snarling animal that is the thing which has invaded us all, the every one of us, and it is not helping matters of coming together, not only as an ethnic group but also as a group of delusional humans who, for the life of them, cannot see past the big okole that is their hatred, and it is an inborn hatred of self. It would have to be, because only someone who hates their own self would be able to remain as hateful as is the day long. Only people who feel weakened and controlled by the actions of the past, actions which hurt us as a whole feel like they have an ax to grind. The rest of us just want fairness, just want to be seen and known as what truly we are. It is unfortunate that there are more people who would rather fight and run in circles and get nowhere than there are people who can see things as they are and who are willing to fight from a place which is Light, Love and Aloha.

We, as a people, have found that self-hatred is better than fighting from the brain, with a fight that started in the soul, made its way to the heart, called us all Warriors and then, somehow, became the ugliness, the beast that is both culminated of self-misunderstanding, that is born of the notion that we are too weak as a whole to not get emotional, to not get mad, but when the beast turns upon itself, we have what we have, and what we have is an energy of Self-Hatred, and it is the beast which will eat us from the inside out. And it will not eat us up in one bite but rather will do like the vileness that is any kind of cancer and will eat, little by little, til the entirety of the whole has been stricken with the foolishness that is older than anyone fighting for what is deemed as fair and as equal. What is fair and equal and believable in the eyes of the unenlightened many is the emotion of hatred, is the anger that is deep seated and is borne of the energy that is weakness, that is being victimized, that is anything than what truly the human race is.

We have allowed the things that broke our collective heart and soul to be the thing that is the reality of us and for us all, even if some of us fight daily to make it otherwise than this. This is something that together, we can fix, but this is also something that, together, we find ourselves at odds, and we are at odds because of something that someone else said, in another lifetime – their lifetime – that made this fight, at this time, seem as though the hatred is what will win whatever it is that we think we need to win. It is the hatred that we are presumed to have – the very all of us – for other races and other ethnic groups, that has seeped into the minds and the hearts of the many and is now bleeding out into those who are like us. We have become so marginalized in what it is that we want to believe is the truth that we have allowed those things that show many of us to be ignorant, and now that ignorance has bred something new and entirely wrong on the whole. We have come to the point in our own collective self-hatreds that finally, there is a smaller minority of us who are begging, pleading even, for the hate to please stop.

Yet, we know that it won’t. It won’t because hatred sells more television spots and gets your books purchased in all the formats that you can come up with, and it won’t because there are people whose livelihoods will always depend on the seductive nature that is our own smallness. It won’t because without the self-hatred, “activists” who are not more than televangelists without the cameras will have no means with which to pay for the continuance of hate placed upon the whole of us by the few. It will not because too many of those who believe themselves to be the very powers that be will never allow a true healing to be the reality, because once there is a true healing, the things that propel them, the things that allow them to have the place in society that they and their egos have will no longer have a place in society if these hatreds are eliminated. 

This is the Beast which we have all, at one time in our lives, in a singular manner as well as a collective one, allowed to give birth, again and again, to the things that wreck our souls.

We cannot hope for change if all we are willing to do in order to push forward through to a better future is to grant people access to the hurts of the past that we were not there to be witness nor victim to. We have all, at one point in each of our lives, have chosen to believe that being a victim is far easier than is fighting to become a survivor, even as being a survivor proves something to us all, on a personal level, and it is proof that is permanent – proof of our own personal power. Sadly, too many of us will never be able to see that if we combine our personal power into the collective whole of things that we will exact the changes that are needed rather than the ego driven changes which are fueled by a collective of ignorance and hate.

We, as a race of human carbon based life forms, have a duty to one another, and when it comes with ethnic hatreds which are not only old, but generations and historically old, this is when we are allowing ourselves to travel back in time, back to when things seemed to be the way that a whole lot of people thought was right at one time, and that a whole lot of people now know is NOT right but who still use those ego-driven ways to promote equality and fairness but with unfair means and a means which really, no one had a choice to have – the color of skin, the place of birth, and the history shared with people who, even as they may not be ethnically the same as anyone else is, they are same in the manner that is human. 

In the manner that is human

In the manner that is human, not one of us is different than the other, but in the manner that is Ego, there are those who prefer for us to see the division between us that is not real, that is not there, that is pointed out because it has to be pointed out to be seen. No one thinks about race, no one thinks about being an ethnicity until someone else brings to our awareness the things which are different between us, which normally are place of birth (not place of origin) and zip code. There is an entire population of people on this planet with whom I share both air and history – ancient history, that is – with, who would rather see to it that people who were not born where they were born not be seen as what we really are, which is the same thing that they are only with a different zip code. If I can see this, and lots of other enlightened people can also see this, and if all one group is doing is saying and assuming what they will in order to feel better or more superior to the rest who are like them in more ways than one, then that tells me that the reason that anyone will point anything out to someone else that makes anyone appear to be ‘different’ that these people doing the pointing are weaker than the whole, and if they are weaker than the whole in its entirety it means that they are trying to weaken the whole, period. 

If what any person who claims to be a “National Leader” deems as being the thing that is the common thing about a people, that that thing uses division, that thing uses what is the shadow part of a people, then that person is perpetuating a darkness of a collective whole and it boils down to that person and their goals and their feelings and their ugliness and does not speak for the whole. 

What does not speak for the whole is the idea that since I am a person born “on the mainland,” that this means that somehow, as an ethnicity to a place of historical origin, since it is that I was not born wherever “there” is, that I am not right, that I am damaged, that somehow, I am not at all like those whose fight for equality would be one that would include the all of us. This is hurtful. This hurts a whole lot of people, all over the world, because the simple fact of the matter is that children of all cultural backgrounds are born all over this big beautiful rock, but that this does not mean that these children of certain origin are somehow not ethnic enough.

What my point is…

My point in using these things that I have been met with, that a whole lot of people like me have been met with, is to show the whole of you that when we are more inclined to see only what is not the same within a group, even as the group as a whole is essentially the same, it is a hurt within a hurt. It is a place that no one wants to be but is also a place that too many people who share culture want to believe is a “for us or against us” mentality. And hell yes I am against the kind of thinking that divides a people, no matter where that nation’s origins are, no matter how that collective thought came to be, no matter what – I am against the belief that a whole lot of culturally-adept-but-human-being-moronic have, and that belief is that it does not matter how you were taught as a child who is part of a culture and that only your birth zip code matters. I am against the idea that to get us where we need to be as a race we have to divide us so that the purity of the hatreds that are generations and historically old can be the ONLY thing that gets seen. I am against anything at all that pits brother against brother, sister against sister, tribe against tribe, nation against nation, namely and specifically a nation within a nation.

I am not at all impressed with the idea that there are people who behave as though if you were not where they were at the time of your birth, that this makes you not the real thing. And I promise you all right now that there is no one realer about anything “equality” than this person writing this right now, and since it is that we draw to ourselves who and what we are, and since it is that our souls mirror one another’s, and since it is that beauty attracts beauty and ugly attracts ugly, then this means that I am blessed in that I do not draw to my life people who will willingly divide a people, will divide themselves from their own kind, all because of a hatred planted in them by their ancestors, by their ancestor’s ancestors, and by the people with whom they share a likeness in darkness.

The time is now, guys. I am making the call out to the collective Soul of all that is “race,” yes, including the all of us in that group called “Human.”


Now is the time that we all, no matter our ethnic origins, no matter where we were born, no matter who we are, need to knock off the ignorance. At this time in history too many of us are blinded by hatreds that are old, that are only reborn when people….so called “activists”….get involved in something with the wrong and selfish intentions. There are many of them, in fact, too many to be able to list them all, and I would not waste my time with highlighting them here in MY blog because the truth and the fact of the matter is that these purveyors of ancient hatreds and ancient methods of being controlled by other people is just not something that I want to be part and party to.

I do not want to be one who gives the energy of hatred, but of healing, not only of the one, but of the all. I want to see that nations of indigenous peoples can come together with nations of people who are not of indigenous ancestry and be together in mind and in spirit because we are already here together in the physical. I do not want to be here, in the present, seeing all of the ugliness that is the hurt of the past, the anger of the past, and the cellular knowledge of what is not okay, what was hurtful and caused generational and ethnic anger and hatred to be the thing that is passed on to the people in  my life, namely my children, namely the collective of the future which is nestled and safely protected within the Na Mamo who are our kids, collectively.

To this point, those who would raise their brood in the energy that is anger and mistrust will continue to share only that energy with the world, and it is in that sordidness that tells a people that they have the right to place hatred on to others and it is their duty that they share not the culture, not the beauty of a people, but the hatred for others who are not like them. This is the same thing that is seen in religion, and people die over it. This is the same thing that is in racism on the mainland, and people die over it. This is the same thing that religious people confront the LGBT community of the world with, and yes, there, too, people die over it.

People die over the hatreds that they have been given because all they have been taught is to hate and not to use the energy that is that same hatred to turn it into something useful and to do something right, good and positive with it. I could take these generalized pieces of hatred that a whole lot of ethnic Hawaiians like myself have, and give to my children, their friends, my cousin’s kids, my brother’s son, all my hanai (adopted) keiki (kids) and show them, too, that they can also hate as well as any adult can, or I can use it to do for them, as well as the rest of the planet, the right thing and show them that nothing is more lovely than being able to share with the world who you are, for real, and nothing is more lovely than being able to remain true to who you are while allowing others to just be who they are, too.

Yes, even within the very same ethnically divided group such as both sides of the coin called the Nation of the Peoples of Hawai’i. This is what I call us, us Kanaka Maoli, and I really do not care to hear if I have spelled it wrong, or that I cannot be part of it because I was born in Los Angeles County, California, where it is also know, and lovingly so, as being “The 9th Island.” We here on the 9th  love you guys there in the ‘Aina with a fierceness, and we are met often with the idea that we are not as real as you are there because we are here. It does not occur to you that when you do this stuff, when you think of us as people who you have to prove are not the same as you are, you hurt us. And the hurt is real, deep, and stays with us for a long, long time.

You hurt us because we are you and you are us, and you hurt us because when we bleed, it is the blood of the ancients which also spill from our veins. When we cry, it is the wailing of the ‘Aumakua which is heard. When we rejoice, it is all of the heavens which open wide and smile down on the whole of us and show us that we here are also Na Mamo, are also the cherished and the chosen. Yet you there seem to think that it is a zip code that matters, that who you are is more important to this …whatever it is that you have turned it into….thing that really, ALL Hawaiians are a part of. Not just you, or me, or your silly drunken Auntie named “Sweetheart” or “Honey Girl” who is the reality of the whole of us all – but it is us all that is the whole of us all.

This is the same thing that MUST BE applied to the whole of us all who inhabit this planet, who expect that we should be able to venture on into the future with eyes opened wide to the things that we know are truth, are ours, are made and here specifically to show the world that we seek peace, not hatred, and that we are Love, not lost, and that the All of Us includes ALL OF US and not one preferred bunch of same humans over another. The color of our skin does not matter unless you are trying to profit from it through measures of hatred and generations old anger. The zip code on our mail does not matter as much as the idea that the zip code on our mail is all on the same planet at the same time. The middle names that are comprised of all 12 letters of the Hawaiian alphabet mean nothing if the only words being formed and used are those which divide us all.

The All of Us need very dearly to take a look at the things happening in Hawai’i right now, the things happening in Florida right now, and we all need to think for a moment about how it came to be that we would hate each other over something that not one of us had a choice in – what race we are, and how that is the greatest way to show to people how ignorance and how old hatred of people who NONE OF US KNEW WHEN IT HAPPENED BECAUSE NONE OF US WERE THERE OR BREATHING BACK IN THE 1800s, but a whole lot of us are willing to hate people because someone a long time ago messed with our ancient ancestors and now we feel like it is our right to take up a bone with strangers and pick it!

Really? You mean you have nothing better to do than mess with other people over something that you really have no control over? You really wanna keep on the hatred?

Wouldn’t you much rather be the person who, just by your birth right, are meant as the purveyor of the Aloha that you have no issues with when it is said to a stranger of certain paler origin as they get off the plane, wallet open, ignorances to who you are and what you are up to, completely open for you to take advantage of?

Is someone like that mo’ bettah fo’ you when they have some Kala for you? Is that all they really are to you?

No wonder why you think they say bad things about you…you have given them no other choice but to, and really, you are showing us your guilty conscience from the inside, out, and yes, that guilty conscience is something that you have over people like me…people who are ethnically like you, but whose zip codes run along the neighborhoods dotting the 5, 10, 210 and 15 freeways rather than the highway called “Kam.”

When it is that we, as humans, want to use who we think we are because we think that other people are just going to give in to our whims, it is at this time, no matter your origins, that you need to check yourselves before you wreck yourselves.

Nothing gets done when you are running around in circles. The only thing that happens is that you end up dizzy.

By my own count, I am thinking that we have a lot of people who are dizzy from running around in the same hateful circles. You have gotta be tired. Perhaps you ought to stop fighting so much for the thing that you think still applies and learn now that what it is that you are doing is the opposite of that thing that you call
“pono,” because to be “pono” you have to sorta be right…

And the way you behave is not right…it is left and right, just like the two cheeks of the okole called ignorance.

I Love You All !

Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Healing with Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui – The Sisterhood of The Soul. She is a blogger, book author, choreographer , Public Speaker, Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse Survivors Advocate and Spiritual Coach. If you would like to contact her for speaking engagements, Spiritual Consultations, or for anything else, please send an email to 
(c)  Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

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