Our Lives long we try to get people to Love us as we are…knock it off…Love You first, just as you are, and stop waiting for someone else to do it
We should just get over ourselves NOW, dammit. My thought about trying to change someone else to make us more acceptable in their eyes is just…meh…it is too much work to do to try to do something that will not happen.
Okay, so it COULD happen, but the likelihood of that happening on behalf of anything that is not meant for the Self and ultimately, The Soul, is as likely as our winning an Oscar while we are not meant for it – NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
NOT GONNA HAPPEN!
No one else is going to make things beautiful for you. You have to do that on your own. Conversely, no one else has the power to make things ugly for you, only you do. Only you can do for you what no one else, as you well know by this time, should even bother to think to do for anyone else. Whatever it is that you are trippin’ out on is yours alone, and no one outside of you is going to make that different. Even though whatever it is that they are doing and keep on doing bothers you, you have to think about why it is so bothersome. Why is what someone else doing in their lives such a big damned deal to you, and why is it that you are not willingly seeing the other side of the “If only” coin? We do so many ridiculous things when it comes to getting people to see us for who we are according to us that we are not bothering with the fact that what they see and what we see and know are two very different perceptions.
Our perception of ourselves will not be the same that others see. It never will be. While they might physically see what is there and while what is there will match, technically, the thought behind what we each and singly see will be markedly different. It’s like this…a Pisces person will see the moon in the sky like a big pizza pie while the Capricorn person might see it as a good moon by which to plant a crop to sell. In this same light, we all have such very different thoughts and such very different feelings about so many different things that to think for even a tiny moment that a person who has been one way all their lives will change for YOU is like pretending that you do not want them to do the change for you rather than with you as the example of the thing NOT do to or say anymore. While they might change a little bit here and there so that they can accommodate what it is that you might need that you do not have within you, the bottom-line truth is that they are not changing something for you at all. They are changing a part of themselves FOR themselves so that you can be included and accepted in their awareness in a manner which they can relate to.
Their changing anything about them, no matter WHAT you are told, what you want to believe, whatever…is not now and nor will it ever be for you. That is placing too much power and too much control of you and too much of anything into someone else’s hands. That is making them responsible for how you feel. That is making them be the one who decides for you not only how you feel, but eventually who you want to believe you are. Who you are is a sublimely unchangeable part of you. NO ONE ELSE can make you act on the way that you feel. Sure, someone else might have a lot of stuff to say, and while it might hurt the reality of it all is that it is their opinion, and we all know that opinion is NOT fact. Fact is the reality, is the manifestation of what is in your head. If you look at your self in the mirror and see something there that you are not liking or does not fit somehow you are seeing what is there that has been placed there by you via the opinion of someone else. Very truly, you took what someone else thought, said, did to you as the truth that is yours and you allowed it to be your truth even though upon looking at your reflection you see what is there that was not yours to begin with.
And we know what is “ours” and what is not.
What is Yours.
What is yours is how you feel about anything. By this I mean that the way that someone’s energy “hits” you is yours, not theirs. If you think about it deeper, you will find out that while it is that they have fed you their opinion about a thing, the way that you react, or respond, belongs only to you. You are not foolish enough to walk up to a wild animal, poke it with a stick and expect the animal to not behave like it should. If provoked it will behave in the manner that it has been provoked. If you leave it be, stay a safe distance from it so as only to look at it and observe it, it will, again, behave in the manner that it has NOT been provoked. If you decide to walk into a situation where you know the answer from the person who you have asked their opinion of will not be the answer that you like or that you want, you know already that you have provoked yourself with the stick of self-endangerment in a soul sense. If you take the answer they give you, and look at it from a different place, and see where the person you asked is coming from, you have learned, in that one moment, if you are paying attention to their words, the truth that is theirs alone, the truth that cannot be changed at all by you, and more, the truth that you have the option to react to, to respond to, or – best case – leave it be what it is, which is THEIR truth, you will find out that for all those times that you thought they were trying to hurt you that it was only your perception of what you wanted to believe was the truth of you.
Someone else’s opinion of you is based on the experiences that came from events that happened in the past, meaning that they are based on events that happened for real. The things that are not real, though, are the imagined things that you want to believe that are the bad things that your own thoughts are creating for you. What they tell you is THEIR truth and THEIR feeling about whatever happened. What you hear is THEIR truth and THEIR opinion that does not have to be accepted by you, and really, just because you are not accepting it, it does not make it wrong, or right. It only makes it someone else’s opinion.
What is NOT Yours
Everything and anything that did not come from you is what is not yours. That terrible idea that another person has about the way that you dress – not yours. That awful opinion that someone else has about the idea that you are being “weak” when you are not raising hell over something that someone else said or did about you or about anything you do – again, not yours. Anything that you did not think on your own and anything that is a belief that did not originate in your mind is NOT YOURS. It does not matter how someone else will assume anything about you. That is not your weight to carry. That is not your Kuleana to live up to. That is not the thing that you came up with, so this means that as of this moment, you can let it go.
That’s right…if it is hurting you in any way, and you are not the person who came up with whatever it is that was said, done or whatever, you can let it go. It is not yours. It is not your truth. You did not think it. You cannot own it. Let someone else carry that heavy pu’olo for once.
Auhea Wale ana ‘oe – Pay attention! Let someone else carry their own damned pu’olo for once !
As hard as I know it is to let go of the ugly things that other people think or say about us, just let it go. If you cannot let it go, learn to think about it from another place, in another way, and live with what your perspective of what you came up with on your own about what someone else thinks about ANYTHING having to do with you. Learn to take what can be thought of as someone else’s crap as a way to either see something in yourself that you have never seen and look at it from your own perspective and never mind what someone else thinks, or ignore it, because if they can see it in you, and what they say about what they see in you hurts you, this means that it is also alive and well in them, and more than that, they have no right to judge you about something that they, too, have to fix in them.
You cannot see anything in someone else that you would be willing to see as a bad thing unless it is also in you. If you point out a person’s ability to talk without thinking, this also is yours. Do something about it, but don’t do something about it so that other people won’t tell you that it is there, and don’t do something about it that will hurt them. Do something about it because it can be thought of as something that you can use to your benefit. Do something about it because it is your soul’s wish. Do something about it because you are choosing the option to do something about it but by any and all means DO NOT do anything about a damned thing on behalf of someone else who did not pop out of your body and who now calls you ‘Mom.’
You cannot know what a person is all about in relation to you if you are not also willing to see there in them what is you, good, bad or otherwise. If the lesson that we are meant to learn is the lesson that is us knowing when we are supposed to no longer take from another person, the hurts that are meant to teach us, and we choose to not learn, we can no longer blame anyone for the horrible things that they will tell us because we walked right into their line of fire. If you are not meant to be one way, you will not be that way, but the lesson will be not that you are not meant to be that way but that you are not meant to try to be. If the lesson is that you ought not hurt for the sake of someone else, yes, including hurting from the sting of rejection and a horrible break up, including the shame that one feels over being told that they lost their job for reasons that their arrogant boss told them was the truth but is not a truth that you yourself really knows, including anything that feels like a ding to your soul, you will be given lessons in what it is like TO hurt – not to hurt someone else but to experience being hurt – but only so that you know what is the opposite of the thing that you so dearly need to know and to live and to be.
When it comes to anything at all that is of a personal nature and it causes us pause to stop and think about a thing and when it is that that thing hurts us, no matter what it is, it is meant to teach us what we need to know.
Yes, even when it comes delivered to us by the most unlikely manner, by the most unlikely people…
It is all meant to teach us who we really are in the soul…it is YOU…not them…I Promise !
I LOVE YOU ALL