Sometimes, we don’t understand our place, but I promise, it is not in the past.
While visiting with family yesterday, and in that time spent with those people I learned something about the nature of the past, and the nature of the past is that it has a grip like a vice if we let it stay that way. Yet, sometimes, even when we let it go, we find out that it is not our tightened fist keeping us saddled to times we don’t emotionally need to be learning from anymore. Most of the time it is ourselves who keep us there, but sometimes, it is because we are stuck to a past unwillingly, and we remain there not on our own accord but instead, remain there in sacrifice to the thing that we would rather not do. Normally we won’t do something in order to make things right for someone else. Yet there are some of us on the planet (where are all my Pisces’, all my Cancers? Where you all at?) for whom self-sacrifice is part of our make up, and for the life of us we cannot help ourselves. We cannot help not wanting other people to have to go without, even if it means that we have to deal with a perceived loss.
Sacrifice is nothing to a lot of people, and lots of the times, we are sacrificing not for another reason than that we do not want someone else to hurt, and in that thought energy, we are more inclined to not hurt other people because we ourselves do not want to suffer the pain of having known that we hurt another person by our not sacrificing for them what we would not expect someone else to do. This is not to say that we do not do things for other people just because we want to, but more often than not we sacrifice for other people because we do not want to feel guilty for their hurt. Their hurt, unless we purposely hurt someone out of spite, is not our responsibility. Their hurt is theirs, and our hurt should not spawn from the sacrifices that are made on behalf of someone else each and every time we sacrifice. When that happens, we find ourselves confused, resentful, and not much fun at all.
Most of the time the hurts that are within us and placed there by other people are there because we expect that other people will understand our position about things. When we are less that willing to be truthful about how we feel about a thing, instantly we become part of the problem that we each have with letting go of the past. The thing about the past is that it is gone. The thing about the past is that whatever is there can no longer affect us unless we invite it in to do that. The thing about the past is that it happened, that we cannot change it, it is gone, and more than that, the thing about the past that not a lot of us are willing to accept as the truth is that the past, the distant path especially, has no control over us. That’s right – what has happened, happened, and what has happened, cannot not un-happen.
The past is the greatest reference collection that we have, because it is within our recollection that we find little snippets of where in our lives we learned our most important lessons. When we hang onto material things from the past, things that remind us of places, things, and mostly people and a time in our lives where there was not this great big hole called “personal losses,” and worse than that, when we are allowing others to hang on to these things all in the name of keeping peace that is not really there because we are roiling from it all, we are to blame, and we are to blame for our hurt because we are not willing to give someone else a smaller and temporary hurt in exchange for the one that we know IS going to happen in but a matter of time. The hurt that will happen is not only theirs, but is ours, too, the moment that we choose to sacrifice what we know is best for all involved rather than giving in to not have to hurt someone who we know does not deserve the hurt right now. But this is when we have to think to ourselves that it is better that they hurt now for a moment than to have the entire group of souls hurting over the actions not taken.
The Collection of Memories that have no control over us
We bristle when we are trying to let go of the past, and it is like this NOT because we find that back there in the past we are more able to deal with things but because back there, for some people, it was nicer because we were not alone or we were able to deal with things when it seemed like things were better. The Now is when we need to be fully present and aware, and the Now is the most important time in our lives because the Now is right now. Too many of us relive the energies of the past and it is not on our own accord but is brought to us by people who, even as we care about them and they care about us, are finding it more important to hang on to the things that were rather than clearing out that mess to make way for a new and better way of being and doing and living our lives. Often times it is because we don’t want to hurt another person by making them see that they cannot hang on to what is no longer there, that they cannot start to believe that other people will be the ones who hang on to their past memories for them, and it is not right that anyone would think that what we hang on to is somehow meant to have the same energy for another person.
We know that it is time to stop holding on to things when we start feeling the detriments that we thought we were done with because time has passed. The reality is that the moment that we were able to get over the idea that we were hurt or made angry was also the moment that we were able to let it all go. Problem is, no one told us this. No one told us that we could get over a thing simply by electing to no longer hurt or to no longer be affected by it. No one told us that when the people who someone else hangs to the material memory of also silently, through the things that they taught us as children, that it is time for us to take the reigns and be the ones to sacrifice the idea that they will be angry with us, that we will have hurt them, and it is all so that in the long run, we do not have to hurt or to go through the pain of their being angry that while we did not want to hurt them now and let it be short term and that allowing them to hurt later and larger and perhaps for many years.
When we are more willing save someone from being angry with us by our actions right now, we are operating from a place of fear. It is not the fear of anything in particular, but more is the fear of letting them down and their hurting by what we have done, and most of the time what we are planning to do is not from a vindictive place, and neither from a place where we intend on hurting someone else, but is rather from a place where we are trying to save them from longer and permanent hurt in the future. When we do things that we know are good for the people who are the closest to us and we have a hard choice to make, it is at that time that we need to look at what might happen if we do not opt for the fast and vaccination-to-a-baby minute of pain that we will suffer, versus the long run where everyone suffers from our inaction. Sometimes, copping to our not wanting to be involved is not the answer, and sometimes when we opt to do nothing at all it is worse than doing the wrong thing.
At least if we do something, and it is seemingly the ‘wrong’ thing, we are more compelled to continue failing each time we try until we find an agreeable solution. But if we do nothing, and allow things to remain the same, we make it so that the madness continues and when the madness continues we find ourselves in an endless circle of the thought that we should have changed things a long time ago. Don’t do this to yourself, and don’t do this to your loved ones, and don’t do this to your own piece of mind, and don’t do this to the people with whom you share your own awareness. Yes, the energies from the things which we allow to remain the same extend to the rest of the world and loans to the bigger energy. When we think about a thing in a negative manner, and we want to have the positive outcome there is an imbalance that happens that allows the thing that we don’t want to remain with us.
Think about yourself the next time you are seeing that someone else needs your help. Yes, I said that right. When you are thinking about someone else needing your help versus you thinking that you want to make them happy no matter what, and even if it means that you have to allow them to continue their madness, no matter if that madness is a collection of thoughts and memories, or if that collection is a literal collection that brings to life the reality that is within, and that reality affects everyone who sees it, it is time then that we have to think about what is best for the person with whom we are contending the changes that they may not like and that we know is the right one to make, even though it is one that we know they will not like.
I promise, once you choose that, and once you do what is best for all as a whole, you will notice, too, that those who you cared about to the point of their detriment – they will see it as beneficial, too. You just have to trust them enough to trust that you have their best interests at heart.
With that much said…
I Love You All !!