Meditation is not one size fits all

You do not need to do things that are not according to who you are when you are meditating

A very dear friend of mine this morning posted to her Facebook wall that she did not know how to or rather, could not, meditate. And it was not for anything other than that she thought, because of her Sun Sign, that she was not able to stop her mind fast enough to get it done. Of course, it was within minutes that she posted something else that spoke the truth of her, and that truth of her is that indeed she knows that she CAN meditate.

When I read it I was a little amused by her thought, because I know this person well enough to know that she has great powers of concentration, and one has to have that power, and in her case it is because I also know that people with musical ability, namely those who sing, have to be able to concentrate their energies in one direction and toward one goal, and that one goal can be varied and can be in the form of singing in front of an audience, to recording an album, to rehearsal – no matter what, just as much as the instrumentalists in a musical ensemble have to focus, so, too, does the lead singer. Just like singing, or playing a musical instrument, or anything, really, which requires talent, heart and soul, a quieted mind and focus are what are needed for meditation.

A Quiet mind is not what you think it is

Because I know that I have the propensity toward having very, very scattered thoughts, I know, too, what it is to have to stop the mind chatter, to have to focus on one thing, and in my case, always that one thing is about how to contact “The Realm,” also and better known as “The Astral Plane.” In order to do that, it is required of a person to be able to focus their thoughts, their energies, their everything, at that moment, NOT toward an end result but toward the moment’s energies, and at that time, for anyone, the moment’s energies are all about being able to focus. This is what is meditation. Meditation, to a lot of people, seems like some weird, tree-hugger type activity that only people who know what the benefits of wheat germ milkshakes are all about (ewwwwww…I prefer chocolate, thank you much). This is not correct. While it is that many, many people do indeed meditate in the way that we see as typical, the truth is that anything that requires our focus, and anything that requires our energies toward gaining that focus – THAT is what is meditation.

By “a quiet mind,” I mean that the chattering and the blah blah blah that is the conversation in our heads all the time is what we need. Now, yes, of course, having NO mental chatter is great, but it takes time, practice and focus. Meditation is about streamlining one’s focus so that what it is that we require to have what we desire in life, be it an answer, a situation, even a miracle…meditation serves us with the ability to focus, not on the thing itself, but our thoughts about the thing that we are focused on. Once it is that we can focus on a thing, we find that it was because we were able to focus, NOT on the outcome, but on the things that were the energies that would help us get to that particular outcome or something better than what we have in our minds.

A quiet mind is a mind that has been quieted from all of the daily stuff that should not be permanently there, and is replaced by thoughts that are focused. The only way to train one’s self toward this ability is to practice. Practicing is not something that we human beings like doing much, but when we can focus on the bettering of our own abilities, no matter what they are, or the bettering of who we are as a person, we find that once we have that focus which comes with our ability to quiet the extraneous thoughts caused by the nuttiness of everyday life and can quiet our minds to focus only on the thing at hand, life gets strangely beautiful.

I say it becomes strangely beautiful because the things that used to crowd our thoughts have been replaced by useful thoughts, nourishing thoughts, thoughts which are Divinely Focused and thoughts that are streamlined and thoughts which become a means to an end. The end is not only a materially realized end, but more than that, the end is more like our being proven as able to focus our Selves toward an energy that is helpful to our growth as Souls. As souls we are meant to be here to open ourselves up to others, to be able to see in them, ourselves, and are meant to carry out a mission and live through to our purpose. In order to do that, though, we have to have streamlined, positive thoughts. When we carry all these crazy thoughts and these limiting energies we find ourselves running around in circles. It is not until we have learned to quiet our chattering mind that this becomes a reality for anyone.

True, there are a lot of people who can and do meditate in the fashion that we all know as being meditation. Yet, there are people who are too fiery, who cannot keep still even when they are sleeping, and who need activity in order to clear their minds of the chattering that goes on there. Some people actually do well when the mind is actively becoming quiet, meaning that they know that the reason that they are in activity IS because that is how they do not realize that they are meditating. There are some who are reading this who are going to vehemently disagree with this, and to those people I must pose the question of who it is that made them the person who Spirit placed in charged of what is the “right” way to calm the Spirit and quiet the mind. Some people cannot cope with the quiet of an empty house, and those people are the very ones who will turn their stereo up as loud as it can go, something harsh and heavy pouring out of the speakers, and there they are, eyes closed, not bothered by the ear-shattering collision of screeching guitars mixed with a gravel-like voice. In fact, for those people, this is the only way that they can connect with their inner selves and to tell someone else that they are not meditating right is not even anywhere near cool. (To tell someone else that since it is not the way that you would do it is about as egotistical and arrogant as it gets because you have not yet mastered the way that you actually will flourish with meditation, and so now you have to tell other people that since it is not your way, it is the wrong way…shame on you, by the way…)

Your way, my way, their way, this way, that way…no way is there only one way…

Just like no two people are going to like everything the same, not one of us has the same level or skill to meditate as some others might. I know that I have a very active mind, that as a public speaker I am given to the idea that communication is the key to everything in our lives, and with that thought, I know that I am the only person who could possibly also know that in order to prepare for such a “gig” that I have to do what is right for me and that there is not another person whose method will help me. In that same light, my musical pals meditate in ways that are conducive to their own growth and their own skill level and their own comfort level. One musical friend goes to the gym and this is what he calls his meditation, and it totally fits who he is. Another friend, she takes off her shoes, walks barefoot in the grass, near water, usually, and then goes home and takes a seasalt or herbal bath, and it fits who she is. Yet, another friend gets his mind going and even though he is a musician, it is not just his music which connects him to his higher self, but also his ability to paint. Another friend is a mechanic, and his meditation time is simply sitting in front of the television with a beer, the remote, and his dog….and another friend who bartends finds that her own meditative thoughts arise when she is reading a book or practicing her Tarot cards.

And me?

I write. Sometimes, I draw. MANY MORE TIMES THAN NOT, I will dance hula, barefoot beneath the wide full moon, mp3 loud, like a Hawaiian Hula band, and dance until Great Spirit tells me that I am Pau Hana with it for the night, and yes, of course, I also meditate in the way that is most normally seen by the rest of the world, with candles burning, Power Objects in front of me, at least the ones which are applicable to the meditative prayers at hand…and all of it is right. Not one thing that I do in order to quiet the mind and organize the thoughts and streamline the focus and redirect the energy is wrong. There is no wrong way to meditate.

Meditation is yours, is as personal as your beliefs. If I were to sit here and tell people that they are not doing theirs the way that I do mine and that they should try it my way, I would be wrong, just like it is wrong when people force feed others their own Truths about belief…but that is another blog post for another time.

Meditation and focus and all of those things which require a quieted mind are all private and are just like that one thing that we each have within us that sets us apart from the rest of the crowd. Meditation is not different. Meditation is not “one om fits all,” and meditation takes a bit of a creative nature about us, because it takes a creative person to be able to get into one’s own mind and tell the chattering 13 year olds who are just boisterously excited to settle down and get their homework done…

…so yeah…settle down and get that homework done, everyone…and yes, it is just that easy. Quiet the mind from the chattering garbage and find out that really, it is but a matter of what suits you and NOT what you see that seems to be the perfect fit for everyone.

I Love You All !

To learn more about the area’s ONLY Healing with Hula program, “Na Hula O Ka Wahine’ui,” please visit The Sisterhood of the Soul’s website at

The original Southern Plantation Preacher Lady, Rev. Vel-Danielle Gambrell and her Kindred Souls of the South’s Facebook page can be visited and “liked” by going to

For information or to set an appointment with either Rev. Roxanne Cottell or Rev. Vel-Danielle Gambrell please send an email to either of them here in facebook by going to:

Rev. Vel-Danielle Gambrell  :
Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell :

To contact Rev. Roxanne Cottell (Reverend Roxie) please send an email to

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