To be Hanai is the greatest form of Unconditional Love
I have many, many Hanai family members. My tribe is large, is a maddening mixture of many different cultures, beliefs, and filled with the richness that is other people. These other people know who they are, and these other people who do not share blood ties with me know that I love them, deeply, dearly and for real. Lots of us come from very damaged beginnings shared with various and very damaged people. This is the reason that most of us see our friends as our family, as our ohana, as our tribe.
To Hanai someone means to adopt them into your family. Being ‘hanai’ means that someone Loved you enough to call you one of their own, and while it is that my own Hanai Tribe is large and limitless, it does not mean that for each person with whom I share a bond does not get my full neither my undying attention. To be hanai means that even though we have lost someone or a few someones, whether that loss is the physical reality or is the reality caused by a division of thought and belief, it is never a problem to have the latter of the losses when we know that out there in the great big world there is a family for us, there is our own Tribe and our own Ohana. We all belong somewhere, and sometimes where we belong is not given to the whims of the biological and hereditary truth of us. Sometimes when we are small kids and we have been hurt by those who are meant to care for us, by those who shun our ability to Love them, and when we are, at that point, a lonely child, we find that there are our friends. These are the people who I have Hanai’d into my life, who I have turned into my family, and for whom there is not a lot I will not do if it is within my power to.
To Love someone so very much and to know them better than one does one’s own blood relations is the most glorious of all Loves, because it means that someone decided a long time ago that they knew you and they loved you like you were one of their own. To care about another human being enough to call them your brother, call them your sister, your “calabash” cousin…all Hanai and all the gloriously and unconditionally energetically inclined Love that is the All we That We Are.
To Love a Person as entirely as one would one’s own blood kin is to accept them into the Soul that is your collective, is the one that you are part of and the one that perhaps you were born into. I have many Hanai’d Children, and all of them knows that I have a special place for them in my heart and soul and life and Family. They know this absolutely. I have many Hanai’d Brothers, Sisters, Aunties and Uncles, Tutu Ladies, Tutu Papas, Cousins and the Like, and there contained within this very special, tiny little microcosm that is the sample for the entirety of the Whole of Us lies that which is the catalyst for that which we are All part of, That Which is Known simply as being “The One.”
We are all, in one way or another, Hanai. There is a reason for those with whom we share a common special social spiritual bond – because we all need to be part of a Tribe, and we all need to know that somewhere on this planet there is a group of people who share a sameness of Love and that sameness of Love outweighs anything else, and in some cases, anything else includes sharing a sameness of heredity. Blood rarely matters. Only Love Matters. Only the Love that we have for one another matters. Only the idea that who we are is perfect in the imperfections that only we see. We only have each other, and that means that somehow, we are all Hanai to one another.
No matter who we are, or who they are, someone else on this planet is just like you, or they know that one day, you are going to evolve into Who you are meant to be. The only way that happens is that as readily as you accepted the fact that you have flaws, you must also and readily accept that you are Loved, dearly.If you are reading this, and it means anything at all to you, never worry that you do not have family, that you are not part of your own Tribe of Nations, that you are not part of your own bloodline’s ability to find sameness rather than differences.
No matter where you are, someone Loves You. Someone, somewhere Hanai’d you…
And you know who you are where I am concerned…you know you are Hanai….you know you are my Tribe…
I Love You All !!