When you are in doubt about things, just Be
Yes, there is no doubt in my head that now is the time to just Be. Be all that you are, all Who You Are, Be part of the greater All That Is.
I say this right now because right now, in the world of people who hurt, there is much to be said about the value of learning to Be. Most survivors of almost any atrocity will tell you that the hardest thing to just do is to just Be. Sometimes we want to fix a thing so that it works out how we want it to, and other times we want to go to the nearest person who is not us and ask them what to do, but there are times when we need to just be still and simply Be. Now is one such time for me.
While I remain ever the activist, ever the healer who still smarts from the pains of my everyday living, I have chosen, at this moment, to really leave things alone and as they are and simply and only Be. Be all who I am, albeit very quietly, and Be there for my kids, like the mother lioness with her pride of cubs. We can only hope to fix what is within our power to attend to, and all else must be left to that which we cannot see, that which we know is there, is always there, that which we cannot access anywhere but within.
Within is where many survivors of anything ugly tend to Be, for the most part, and I know this because it is where I dwell. I am safe within. In my “within” there are no people there who can harm me, who can tell me that I am wrong, who can try to hurt the very soul of me. Abused people who are on the road to recovery don’t know this until we are told. We don’t know that it is just fine and dandy just to take pause and simply breathe and be happy for the body’s ability to do what it has to and do what it is meant to. We don’t know until we know within that who we are was never this mess, was never this person who hurts, who will have a permanent part of them that, while it won’t hurt forever, it also will not forget. It will not forget the lessons it learned and neither the pain that it endured. It will never be lost on the idea that what the Soul has endured was meant to teach and to aid in the healing process, because in the manner that is medicine, the way that we treat the flu is with the flu, in tiny amounts, and the way that we heal from abuse is to, in our minds and within, traverse the Fire which burns and which cleanses, the fire which hurts and kills and is the same fire that serves to protect and remind us that it is hot to the touch, can burn us, can kill us, and that is ours to walk across or ours to avoid.
I prefer, at this moment, to walk the Fire’s Path, to face the epitome that was my fear and is now simply my fear waning. I prefer, right now, to think of myself as the Firewalker, the one who transcends the pain and the hurt and the endless burning embers of the memories which used to haunt me but now serve more as the honored emblems of the battle won. While my feet ache and the soles are numb from the endlessness that is the heat of the moment, my Soul rages on within, knowing that this is the calling which was cut out for me and me alone, to be that one person who will walk the Fire, who will cross the Path, leading others behind her, to the coolness that is the River of Life which beckons us all. While I will never tell another Survivor that she needs to do things that she or he knows will hurt them, I will also never tell another survivor that they need to fear everything. The last thing that any survivor needs to be is fearful. Walking the Path of the Firewalker is the Path which we walk anyway…so go forth and walk, my friends, and do not fear the fire, do not fear just to Be Who You Are, because that is yours alone.
If we think for a moment that what we go through as victims, and then as survivors, we see that we have been, thus far, cleansed and refined by this fire which was the abuse.
The Fire Walker is me…is You…We are the Path. We are the Firewalker. We cannot get lost on this travel, cannot think that we are alone, because always, there are people there…
Take my hand…I will lead you there…
I LOVE YOU ALL!