A Good Long Look…

Things that break us down make us stronger, I Promise

I am a lucky woman. I say this because everyday I have the chance to help people see through their pain to the reality that is their real self. Today I thought I might write something about a biblical guy named Job but the more I thought about it the more I knew that I had to copy and paste and use this as my blog post today.

The more that humankind goes through this shift in consciousness, the more we hear stories about long time friendships coming to a grinding halt, long time marriages somehow coming to an end. Long time anything no longer being, and it dismays us, it really does, because human beings…we hate to think that we have lost anything, but what no one really thinks about is the flip side of that perceived loss that is actually a gain, if anything, of space in our lives. We never think for a moment that that which we so love or hate right at this moment may be the opposite in effect for us one day. We don’t think that one day the Love that we share will be the Love that also hurts us. We don’t think that one day, the friend we could trust is also the friend that has hurt us with their truth, not about us, but about themselves.

We think that we cannot deal with something, and when we think that way, we do things to make it true. Last night I had the opportunity to share with a young woman why it is that I think her latest romance has come to an end. I know that it has to do with her growth. When things come to an end, it is not our place to try to make them live again, because if we make them live again, and namely if that thing we went through was particularly hurtful and we, over and over again, choose to deal with that same thing, we find that the hard lesson is never over with, that it will never be over with, and one day, we find out that it was us all along who did not want the Love to end, but that we also did not realize that we kept prolonging the lesson that we no longer needed to learn. I did it. You have done it. We all do it. We will all do it again. This is the nature that is being human. We want so dearly to hang on to what was that we are not willingly looking at what is, and if what is there and real and now is hurting you and making you crazy and making you cry, then really, what is it teaching us other than how to hurt more, possibly again and again, and all for one good reason…

Because we Love to be Loved. We love to be loved by one other person and to be that one other person’s one and only. It is wonderful to be the center of attention and the very target of another’s affections, but the first and truest love that anyone has …well…read what I wrote to this wonderful young person about the nature of the Love that she thought would never be gone. I had to reread what I wrote and yes…get your tissues…

“You are not obligated to making her pain go away. That is why she is numbing herself. You are not dying on the inside, but a part of your life that is no longer needed is gone because the lesson is being learned now on some level. She did not break you, you pared it all down. She is not thinking right. You are never stupid for loving someone. You are not stupid because you don’t want to hurt anymore.

You are not required to hurt for anyone else’s cause, sweetie…not your mom or dad, not your sister, brother, cousin, best friend…no one is required or HAS TO hurt for someone else. You miss the energy that is the balance that Librans need. Yours is the ultimate sign for marriage, and guess what? Shew as just not the right one, not the right fit.

Spirit, God, Goddess…She knows what She is Doing. It is likely that you may get comfort knowing that you have gone through this hurt to avoid going through greater hurt. Let’s not think of this as a loss, honey. I know that it is really hard not to, and I know…oh man do I know…the investment of time, and energy and mostly Love, but what you are about to learn now is that you are more than only this part of the Love you crave. This is not a person who has the depth of Soul that you actually Need, dear. You need a depth and an honest partner, and I am sad to tell you this truth because it breaks you a little more, but take heart in knowing that when you look at it from a stranger’s eyes, and you see there what is the good in everyone, and you see that this has been the testament to your own ability to Know that you are able to Love…the evidence of this is that you are hurt and crying and more than that, you also know that it has to be this way, or else, really, you will end up in this circle, again and again.

I know the pain that you are in right now, and it is not an easy one but when you are done and you remember who you are you will not even think about this person who is hurt, and I will tell you right now that the hurt is not yours alone. Addicts do not realize that they are numbing their pain.

You are being told by Spirit through her that she has too much pain, so much that not even she can feel it. She is doing this to distance herself from her own pain because your tears and her broken promises make her look at the ugliness that is her soul.
She has no idea that she is in pain because she is too angry at everything and everyone, and this is not because of you, this is hers and hers alone.

Baby girl, you are too good for this, and ya know ya are…

You choose it, sweets….who will you feed this time? Which wolf? The one that bites or the one that protects?
Who will you save?
Her or You?
We both Know that answer…yes, honey….you’re right…it’s You
I Love You !!”

I had to take a very good long look at who I am, and in this one writing I realized that the one person I always needed was me. That’s right – ME. I am who makes or breaks me, and I am who controls my own wolves…be they the real or the imagined.
The only thing that any one of us needs right this moment is to Know and believe that we are all the Love that we need, that sharing that Love with one other person does not come when we want it to be there but when we are ready for it in the Soul. When things are balanced and right in the Soul… THAT is when the fun begins. And the Love can be anything…it can be a person or an animal, or it can be a career that you so dearly want to have…anything at all, it can be. The challenge is NOT waiting for it to happen, because no matter what we think, it ALWAYS happens, but we just don’t know when.
The challenge is not the waiting and neither the work to get there.
The Challenge, my dears, is believing that you are worth it all…yes, even the tears – you cried for other people, right? 
I Love You All !

Reverend Roxanne Cottell (Reverend Roxie) can be reached for Coaching Sessions, Public Speaking Engagements, readings, and the like by clicking here


About ReverendRoxie22

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