The Way It Is…

“I’m on my way…I’m on my way…Home, Sweet Home…”
(“Home Sweet Home,” by 80’s rockers, Motley Crue)

Sometimes, or so it seems, we need to take the scenic route just to get back to where we belong. When I say that we need to Know Who Our Tribe is, I mean exactly that. When we think in terms of those who share closeness with us, and we can see with our mind’s eyes those people within the confines of relationship, and not a romantic Love type of relationship, we find there the peace, the very salve and the solace that we need in just knowing that we are so not alone in this lifetime. Today seems to have the flavor of people, not losing what they thought they had, but more, shedding the idea that they needed anything from anyone else. This is the magic of human beings. This is the thing that, once we can get past the idea that we are who we are according to anyone else, and no, this is not my saying that other people make us who we are, we become stronger. When it is that we have been startled by the thought that the person in front of us holds meaning for us, this is when the scariness of who we really are in relation to everything and everyone else becomes the most tantamount, important thing. It is like this because at that point, we not only Know these people, we find out that in more ways than one, we are them and they are us. 

Scary, right?

The Long and Winding Road (The Beatles)

It is a long time waiting for similar people to show up, and it is a longer time waiting and wondering where they are all at. It should have dawned on you a long time ago who these people are. They are the ones whose hurts are the same as are yours, and they are the ones whose passion is the same as yours, and they are the ones to whom you can give your secrets and not worry about them saying a thing to anyone else. It is a long time that we each wait to meet those who share the same Tribe that we do, and a longer time when we have to wait for them to return to us, only to have us unwittingly not see the signs and not see that them becoming part of our own awareness was their introducing themselves to our own Souls.

It is a long and winding road that we each must travel, not so that we can meet these people in the real, but more, so that we can be prepped and primed for their arrival in our lives. And sometimes we mistake their arrival as something that it is not. Sometimes it is a “fling” which becomes a friendship and the bond is unbreakable, while at other times, it begins as passers-by with whom we share many Tribal members and do not realize it. Sometimes they show up in the form of someone who is also working out Karma from a past life and now your two Souls have again met on the physical. There are a whole lot of ways that we meet our Tribe, and most of the time, it is when we are having a very hard time in Life that we will meet them. They come to us in the form of people who can help us to make sense of the hurts and the aches in the Bones of the Soul, and at other times we know that there is a very real sibling type bond between us and even as miles may separate us from each other, the Tribal energy is there and will remain there because you have met another person who belongs to the same Soul Tribe as you do, and it is at that point in our human realities that we finally understand what it means to be a miracle.

What it means to be a Miracle

We are all Miraculous. If you each took a moment to research exactly how our human minds work and how it is that our bodies are tied to our minds and our souls, you would know for sure that who you are is important, and is important on a level that not a lot of people believe they are. ALL OF US is important to someone, even if it is that we only have that one person who our soul recognizes. We see in them the very miracle that we each are, and we begin to know within us who is playing which role in our lives, and it is when we try hard to refill a void that is somehow not helping our growth that we begin to also know that the way the Soul works is not the way that the Ego wants us to Know. Our Egos want us only to know what we want, what we will do what we must in order to have. A good example is Love, the sort that makes us high on life and ready to take on the world, and in our own human failing we find that even as we Love falling in love, we, as a human whole, are more inclined to want to stay in that hormone-induced “Love” that we each seek out.

One day we are faced with the very truth about our selves, and the truth about our selves usually becomes apparent when new people show up and give new light to an old way of being, and normally it is the old ways of being that have prompted us to want to see change in our lives. Yet when that change is staring us in the face, we bristle, but eventually we accept it. We accept it in ways that we did not think that we would, and we learn from the things that we thought we did not know, all about who we are according to someone else. When it is that the someone else is someone who we never knew but somehow seem to “know” anyway…also and better known as the phenomena of ‘Soul Recognition”…we find that very truly, while we are unique in who we are, we know, by the very recognition of the Soul, that truly, we are not alone.

The Flip Side of Things…

While it is awesome finding those people who resonate most with us, there is the flip side of things, the side that says that we have the option to not seek out others like our very selves. We rob ourselves of the goodness that we are when we are not willing to forgo the things that were our reality just yesterday. We want the sameness, but many times we cannot bother with the work.

In order to get anywhere, even in a tangible manner, we have to do the work. This is where many people fail in their dealing with others – they want the soul recognition so badly that they will see themselves in the worst of the worst, and while this does not mean that those who could be deemed as the worst, what this merely means is that we are drawn to what we think we need in our lives when in fact, sometimes, we are drawing that which we used to be rather than what we have evolved to. And talk about the same old situation…it is not only the same old bunch of energy that we have to deal with, but we also have to contend with a much harsher lesson, and it is harsher because we know that at the end of the lesson we are going to end up where we should already have been. Why would anyone choose to go through the pain again, go through the shame again, go through it all, all over again,only to end up where you would have been anyway?

Because we are creatures of habit, and as such we go with the familiar and not that which is unfamiliar to us. We go with what is on the outside and tolerable, even if what is tolerable insults the hell out of our soul. We do it because it is safe, even if it is not safe, and by safe, I mean that we have been there and have done that and oh! Lookie here! We have given birth to the same old situation. Wow…talk about a magician, huh?

I am likened to telling people that I am not Chris Angel, not a magician, that I am a healer and that what I have to bring to their lives is a tiny bit of clarity which might bring to the surface a whole new thing to look at, and what we are looking at when this occurs is the newness which is contrasted by the old way, by what no longer fits or works for us.

When we find out what no longer works, even if we want it to, and still, we go ahead with the thought that this time, it could work, we know, too, that we are only kidding ourselves and headed for a heartbreak.

The Tribal Way

Many people are literally part of a Tribe, and it is a beautiful thing. We are all part of someone’s Tribe, someone’s Ohana, and because of this one thing, we know that there are ways of being within that Tribe’s patterns for living. In my particular Tribe, there are many who are just like me, and many who are like me but are polar opposite to me, and no matter what, I know within my own Soul that I never have to pine for Home again, because Home lives within me, within the Tribe which I call My Own.

If I did not research Tribal ways, I would not have known that for many years I have been Tribal in a leadership kind of way. This is also something that is particular to my Tribal Ohana. They each and all know that no matter what, even if we fail to bitter disagreement, that we are meant to be there in each others’ lives, and it is possible that the reason IS the disagreement. None the less, these people know they are very important to me, know the pureness and the Sacred Nature of those who I share my life with. They know that I am that one person who they can say anything to and that one person who will never let go of the things that they tell me, that they remain to tell me, and this is a beautiful thing.

Within one’s own Tribe, one must know that there is a reason that these people are there, that they bother with us at all, and always, that reason is familial.

When you are pining to go Home, and you have that inclination that you need to be somewhere else, that there awaits something for you in a big way, it is at that point where your sights and your inclinations should be turned to the people who you Love the most, who you spend the most time with, because in those similarities are also the things that have the answers to most of your innermost questions, with the main one being “When do I get to go Home, Godde?”

That answer is simple…you never left…all you are doing is waiting for the family…Tribal …reunion…


Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a blogger, book authorchoreographer and Spiritual Consultant, an advocate and public speaker against domestic violence and emotional abuse, both of which she is also a survivor. If you would like information about Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her or would like to book her for a speaking engagment please  feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

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