We cannot operate honestly or efficiently if we are without our integrity in complete and full tact…no, really…
I was asked if this was a “chick blog,” and no, my answer to that ridiculous question is an emphatic “NO!” it is not. What it is is a blog that will make a person think about things in a different light in regards to the things that they do in order to reclaim their power, and today’s post is very and most definitely about the starting point of where the loss of that power begins. I have to say that I am vehemently disappointed in the things that I see happening, but more than that I have a bone to pick with my Sisterhood of the damned world and yes, it has EVERYTHING to do with those great little magical powers that we think we have that makes us do things that we otherwise, no matter what, would not do.
While I will not detail what those things are, because they are many more than only certain things, I will surely go into detail about the effects of allowing your level of personal integrity become second to your mission at hand. If your mission at hand is in any way at all of any measure of importance to you, then you very dearly need to read this, take it to heart and know for sure that if you are not getting where you think you need to be in life, and more importantly, if you feel that you are not manifesting all of the things and ways of being and situations in your life that you feel you are deserving of, I have one thing to say to you, and you ain’t gonna like it.
It’s your own damned fault
If you decide that trying to manipulate other people to get what you want out of your life, and you are depending on these other people to get you to where you need to be and you are without regard for the things that they tell you as being their truth and you ignore them and their warning and you end up ass hurt or heartbroken, please…save the drama – it is your fault that you hurt and it is this way because you knew the truth. You knew the truth and you went ahead anyway and you opted to think that you could change the situation by manipulating it to be what your own rose colored glasses would let you see.Not only that, if there were other people involved and you knew their truth and you also know your own truth, the onus is on YOU! I promise you it is.
If you think for one second that what you are being told is NOT the truth, then you are reading people wrong and you have to go backwards in order to go forward, because you chose to go backward in the first place, putting yourself and your soul and most importantly, your level of integrity, up for grabs to the first person who would take you up on it, and when I say “take,” I totally mean EXACTLY THAT. When you operate from a level that insults the very core of you and you knew better all along, you are the jackass, not the other person or people – just YOU.
Once you pander yourself out like you have been doing the only thing that happens at that point is that you begin to see where else it is that you can take what you think you see even as you know what you heard is and will remain the truth it becomes MUCH easier for you to lose your focus and that is where the idea that you have taken a step backward to go forward comes into play. When you deal with ONLY your ego in mind, you are dealing with your lower self and your lower self does not give two shits about what your Higher Self needs you to know. Your Higher Self needs you to learn to put yourself in the position that you have put someone else in, and have what is called Empathy. Empathy is the ability for a human being person to place themselves into the thoughts, feelings and the awareness of someone else, and if you are not able to do this and to do this with the idea that no one is taking anything away from you or who you are, I am sorry but all the Spiritual Coaching that ANY coach can give you will be all for naught because you chose to go and find out what you needed to and still went and did the stupid shit you were already doing.
I ask you – how the hell is that supposed to help you? How on earth does anyone believe that doing all those …soul-crushing…things that please the ego and the body help to give the Spirit the means it needs in order to move ahead in life? How can anyone POSSIBLY even HOPE to become all they are meant to if they are willing to leave one foot in “I Don’t Know,” and the other one in “Hell yeah! Let’s get this party started and let’s start seeing our lives change for the way way better!” ??? HOW???? How can anyone expect better when you are not willing for it to be that way by employing all the strategies you employed in the past that DID NOT WORK THEN EITHER? HOW THE HELL CAN THAT BE POSSIBLE?
I knew a guy…I say knew because that guy is dead now, and while it does not serve him right, I will say that it served me with a good understanding of what it means to live with a sense of integrity. That guy used to sell his wares and did so with the idea that he would be able to make a run for it with his customer’s money, and that dude decided not only to get mad at people when, after so many times they’d seen through his bullshit, actually blamed them for what he had taken advantage of. This is my best example for what happens when we take advantage of people and we have the option to NOT …of course, you all know I told him…I told my departed father-in-law on many many more than only one occasion that just because he had the opportunity to do for himself what he knew was legal to, that just because it was legal, it did not make it right.
I cannot imagine what it must have been like for him to have died without making that Karmic debt right, at least through the idea that he could have called those people whose money he played with and that they ended up just more broke in the end because of. This guy did this as his general practice in business, and yes, sometimes, in his life as well. While I am sure that there were times that his intentions were right, the man always knew that he was not living nor operating his business as he should have, and his health suffered because of it. His health suffered to the point of no return, much like his son’s health has done – all because they …the both of them…when it came to money, they had no…NO conscience about it, and knowingly hurting people just because they know where you are coming from is one thing, but to knowingly know where they are coming from and knowing their story and still moving forward with the wrong set of intentions is just bad, bad juju…bad magic, if you will.
It turns out badly for all parties involved. My father in law never learned how to operate from the truth nor the middle of the soul of integrity, which, by my count, is where life and business are meant to meet. The same goes for healing from anything. If you are only willing to cover the pain with other things that will eventually hurt someone, you are not operating from integrity and that is just not okay.
Not just a sense of Integrity, but a very strong sense of Integrity is what is needed by us all
Listen up – if you are more willing to pander to the ego’s sense of what is good, and if you are more willing to allow that you are not at fault because someone else has made a choice that benefits you but – and without their believing so – only takes from them …I am sorry, that is not integrity. That is bullshit, and yes, I have the right and the experience to say so.
No one deserves, regardless of how they present themselves and more, just because they put it out there, to be used. No matter what, that shit comes back and it comes back with a vengeance. The things that we do not want others to know about us always ends up being well lit, and if we live with our Integrity fully intact we also reap the benefit of never having to explain ourselves to the people who mean the most to us. If we are more inclined to be the kind of person who is “everyone for themselves,” then most assuredly we will also be on the receiving end of that energy whether we like it or believe it or not – that is just the way that karma rolls. And if you think that your Karma will not be affected because someone else just gave you what you think is free and available, then you have bigger issues than you are willing to confront. This is where the real fun begins…
The “real fun” ain’t really fun at all…Karma is always a bigger bitch that I can be, than anyone can be…no, for real…auhea wale ana ‘oe…seriously – PAY ATTENTION!! Yeesh !
The worst part is when someone is knowingly taking advantage of a situation and knowingly getting themselves into a position where they know that it is going to be harder than hell to extract themselves from, and that is when the damned soul stuff starts, because at that point that person will know that they themselves have put a big fat monumental DENT in their own Spirit and a dented Spirit is hard to heal from because not only are we healing from our own dents but we also have to heal from the dents that we placed onto other people. That sucks. The dents that we help put on other people comes in the thought form that even though we speak with our mouths, it is our actions which count the most because the truth is in the actions…and the words?
They become unreliable, because what is happening is the exchange of energies and I repeat myself always when I remind people that energy does NOT LIE! If you are aware of your own, then you should also be aware of the peoples’ who you are dealing with, no matter if you are dealing with them wrong, or right. It doesn’t matter. If you are willing to put yourselves into a position that makes it easy for a person to be taken advantage of, the wrong is yours, and theirs, because while you are saying one thing and even physically meaning one thing in the action-taken sense, while your side might be pure, the other person is confused as hell and yes, you had a lot of the energy that went into that.
If I am told one thing, and you show me something else in your actions, I may not know your thoughts, but I know mine. If mine are telling me that you said one thing and did the opposite, and if the thing in question is something that is very important to me, and I keep on going on, trusting your actions rather than your words, I promise you that you are going to hurt me. This is the same for everyone. If you are told one thing, and you are thinking that what you were told is the truth, and then you see the person who told you the thing do the EXACT opposite of it, and you know that it is going to be something very important to you, and you are hanging on to the energy, the hope that the other person’s energies are not lying, you WILL get hurt, and won’t that just suck some serious okole, right?
Right. And you know I am right.
The Very Real Sense of Disappointment
Along with the entirety of what you are doing to your own self and your own soul, you can really only imagine what you are doing to the other person’s.
They will suffer real disappointment. They will believe that they did something very wrong. They will beat themselves up. They will return to the things that they have done prior to all the work that they have done. They will hurt. They will pine for whatever it was they thought they had. They will think that there is a way that they can fix whatever it is they are feeling, and the way that they will fix it is to revert back to the only way they know how to, and normally that is not the way that they want to but it is the only way that they can recall would be what would take the pain away, even if taking it away is temporary. The pain they will hurt from will be real to them, and the pain that you have caused them will also be real to you and will cause you a very real Karmic debt that, no matter what you say or do, will be repaid and there is nothing that you can do to stop it from happening. And you know already because I say it a whole lot – this is not my rule, but that of the Universe.
They will hurt. You will hurt. They will have guilt. You will have guilt, and if you don’t, then you will be in for a seriously huge and ugly surprise when the Karmic debt calls to be repaid. No debt goes unpaid. Especially not the karmic kind. Somehow, Spirit always gets Hers. Always.
The things that you each, no matter how many souls are involved, whether it is 2 or 20,000, did, said, and thought will come flying back to you in large ugliness and you will be lost as to how you got to that point, and at that point is when the disappointment will set in. Once the disappointment sets in, there also comes with it the fact that all the work you have already done thus far will have to be done all over again, and the biggest disappointment?
You mean you don’t know? Holy crap…
Holy CRAP !
The “Holy CRAP!” moment is not the moment that you knew you were doing things not exactly aligned with your greater purpose – nope. The holy crap moment is when you sit there, in your self-imposed ick, and realize that indeed it could all have been not even dealt with because you could have just taken the right option to begin with. Either way, whether you are the one offering the thing that is wrecking your integrity, or you were the one taking a horrible advantage of it, either way, there will be guilt, disappointment, anger and self-doubt. I say self-doubt because after all of the options you took end up not being the right ones for your life at that time, you will start to doubt your own ability to make the right decisions, not only for you, but for everyone. And that really is what having integrity is all about.
In business and in life lived, we must know for sure that we are operating always from the middle of the Soul. If we know that we are true in our own intentions, and we know that we are ready and able to take on the kuleana of the thing that we helped someone else being, feel like, whatever, and we know that we can do so without the idea, the leftovers in the back of our heads that we know we did a wrong thing, not so much to another person, but to our own selves and to our sense of integrity, this is when we know, too, that we can go ahead with what it is that we have opted to do.
When we know that the people involved are not completely whole, not healed and in need of some sort of guidance, and because of our own Ego’s needs, we go forward with the thing that we KNOW is not the right thing, and we keep on giving ourselves our reason as to why our ego thinks it is fine to do, I am promising you NOW that it is not fine to do, and you know it is not fine to do, because if it were and you were totally okay with it, you would not bother to give a reason as to why it is okay with the other person. I am telling you that it is not okay. It is not okay to allow someone else to hurt and it is not okay to believe that what we are doing to, with, for them is okay, at least not …NOT if we know the truth and the entirety of the situation which is obviously in your face for a reason, and the reason is totally not what you think.
So, with that said, to my global sisterhood…please…refrain from using your Soul as the thing that gets you ahead in life, and yes…you know what the hell I am telling you – your “Soul” …and you bet your okole that your Soul is connected to that one thing that you keep on using as currency.
I have but one thing to ask you…are you fucking SERIOUS? What? You ain’t worth more than pretty words, promises that it ain’t gonna be what you want it to be?
Wow!! That’s okay with you?
It would so not be okay with me, but I guess to each her own, right?
I Love You All…no matter what…
Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, “Corporate Soul Coaching” or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved