It ain’t your birthday – you cannot have your cake and eat it, too

You cannot have your cake AND eat it, and in this case, I am not sure why you would even want to!

Want to eat it, that is.

Hello… I am Roxanne and today I am here to serve you your own okole on a plate if you can see yourself in this blog at all.

Yes, I am pretty angry right now, and it is because, once again and due to my believing and desiring and wanting more than anything to help someone else understand things about themselves, and because I just have such a great depth of hope for and faith in others, there are times that I am disappointed by someone who has come to me in search of at least some sort of semblance of what can be called the Truth.

I deal daily in words, in the Truth as it applies to the whole of us, and the Truth as it applies to the whole of us is not the Truth that we know is the Truth (that mankind, for the most part and even as we are starting to get a clue, is in need of some acceptance of the Truth). More times than not we want the truths that we seek diligently to also be the Truth that will apply to others as it applies to us and our lives. We want other people to see things the way that we do and we want them to not argue with us about the validity of their Truth being valid to them as much as it is that our own Truth is valid to us. This is the paradox, the ickiness – that we have our own lives and other people have their own lives and while those two lives may meet in the middle and appear to be the same the Truth is that the two are no where near the other in terms of energy, and this is where the ass chewing begins.

Two Worlds. Two Feet. Two Ways. Twice the Lesson…but…

To whom it concerns- shame on you !

Shame on you for judging what someone else is going through and shame on you for not being able to bother to even think that you are recognizing in someone else the same thing that exists in you. If you are able to see someone else’s weakness and name it, this means that it is alive in you. If you can pinpoint what someone else is going through and are willing to judge them instead of telling them that you can relate to their pain, shame on you. If can see yourself in someone else and you are still stuck in the energy like they are still stuck in the energies and you have the very nerve to tell me about their issues while you are still in the same issues and you are willing to give out what you think are the best solutions for someone else without your being able to also think that maybe the reason that you are doing like you are doing and NOT paying attention to yourselves telling me how to do what I do best – shame the hell on you!

Shame on your judging someone else, and shame on your not even thinking that maybe you are meant to hear your own words because even as they apply to the other person they also apply to you, in more ways than one. That which you see in others also lives in you, so if you feel like you are privileged enough to tell someone else how they need to change themselves – and more than a lot else I hate telling anyone this- but that you can see it in them means that it IS in you and that the message and the lesson that you are giving them at that point is not only that they need to grow, but more than that, you do as well.

Once again…

Once again, (and in some cases…again, and again, and again…and again…) if you are able to see it in someone else the guarantee and the only guarantee that I EVER give to anyone is that it lives in you as well. If you can see something that bothers you in someone else, it means that on some level it is there and alive within you. Deal with it in you before you try to deal with it in someone else, because while you are trying to fix them, you are leaving yourself unattended to. Leaving yourself and your soul unattended to is like leaving a baby in a grocery cart unattended in a parking lot the day before turkey day. Spirit work is not easy, and the things that we find out about ourselves is sometimes not the nicest, namely when we recognize it in someone else and more, when we figure out and accept that it also is alive and well within us,too.

I said it. Deal with it, not because I said it, but because it won’t go away til you do. This is the truth. Deal with it.

Why oh WHY?

Why is it SO hard for people to believe that they are good enough to be everything they want to be? Why is there such a problem where there are changes that need to happen but that we are all so danged scared of what might happen to us and who we are and who thinks what of us that we are more willing to stay the same as we ever were and then have the nerve to blame the way that we feel on someone else? This is not to say that I have been blamed for other peoples’ stuff, but the truth is that whenever we seek out consult from anyone or anywhere, the thing that we have to remember to never forget is that there is the part of the lesson where you come in, where your stuff is seen and where you have to look at it and not only think about why it is there, but that you also have to accept that this is the ugly in you. No matter what, it is yours to accept, and I promise you that once you have accepted it – no matter what the ‘it’ is, you will feel like your soul has taken flight and that now…NOW you can move forward.

Yes, it really is that easy…the accepting part…it is the work involved that people don’t want to do, and it is the changes that make us cringe for the idea that on some level we are more inclined to not make for fear of the fact that when we change anything about ourselves, there is a guaranteed loss – a loss of a sense of the self as it was…the loss of the idea that we fear that the people we love the most will not understand why we felt like we needed to change…the loss, essentially, of the ego’s control over a certain area of our lives, and that certain area of our lives is the one place that we will always have to see to, always have to stare the demon down, and always, no matter what, take into account the idea that who we are now, who we are going to be tomorrow, is not the same person that we have been just yesterday. Evolution of the self is not something that can be done overnight. It took all of us a long time to get where we are. The moment that we know we need to change is the very moment that our evolution, our growth, begins.

This Very Moment is Crucial

This very moment is that moment that I tell all my clients about. It is that moment at which each and every one of us looks at where we are right this minute and think about all that which has happened that brought us to right now and we ponder the idea that we were somehow not even thinking that maybe we were taking two steps back.

You were never taking two steps back, and what stops us is the idea that we have already been where we do not want to be, and where we want to be is not that far away because the reality is that where we want to be depends on our inner world. It is the inner world that directs the outer world. When the outer world sucks, it is because the inner world is trying to let us know that it sucks for a reason and that the reason can be tiny or giant, depending upon your own thought about it. You can see the hammajangs as being a big fat problem, or you can see them all as being part of the process of elimination, and what you are eliminating is NOT the self, but is the false self. The false self is the part of you that prods the ego to be whatever it tells us it is that gets us into the tough spots that we find ourselves in from time to time. The false self is the part of us that makes us feel like we have anything to prove to anyone at all. The false self is the part of us that tells us that we have to do more to be more, and the false self is the part of us that makes us believe that we are never going to be good enough.

It is also the part of us that prompts us to go in reverse,even as our gears are in fully forward mode.

Stop running in reverse already.
It’s hard on you. Just because you are used to it doesn’t mean that it is meant to keep on being done.

Seriously…just sayin’…stop wasting your own time – knock your crap off and stop being scared of everything. It is easier to be afraid of things one thing at a time, so that you can see that things are not as scary as you believe them to be….


Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a blogger, book authorchoreographer and Spiritual Consultant, an advocate and public speaker against domestic violence and emotional abuse, both of which she is also a survivor. If you would like information about Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her or would like to book her for a speaking engagment please  feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved

HEY ! If you wanna be heard on a online station that plays ONLY independent music, try and tell my girl Lady Spitfire that I sent ya ! 

You should buy my books !! No really…click here ! 
A fine buncha whippersnappers, if I might say so myself…buy their CD !! 

…lest we forget…nah, we won’t forget that PleezHer is a Weezer cover tunes band and lookie here!! They have shows ! You should try to go ! They are pretty cool !


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