There comes a time…
There comes a time in everyone’s lives when they know that the crossroad is right in front of them and now they must take one of the options which is there – to proceed and go forward with a new Life, or to remain and stay with the Life we know right now. I opted for the new Life.
Welcome to this new book…to hell with a chapter. “Chapter” denotes that it is the same book and that the story is still the same story. I am a writer. I have written several books. And this new “book” is called the second half of Life for me. It is the same second half for many of us. However, there are some who are reading this who are no where near the second half. All good…new books are written all the time, and just like I opted for the new story and the new book, so can you.
This blog used to detail the many emotions that all abuse victims deal with. Then it became the soapbox upon which I would hurl my vitriol to the world. … but no more…no more vitriol, as the world is no longer in need of yet one more venomous person.
This blog is meant to be seen as the thing that makes us all know our own greatness by being able to see the greatness of others. In my own life I have watched many people go from “in manifest” to “in reality,” and these are the very people whose Fire in the Belly is the largest, even as their means to get to where they have arrived thus far were primitive in some cases, and in every case there was the spark of the flames that were stoked with the very compassion within them, through their own Fire, their own losses, their own detours, their own options and heartaches that they turned into the greatness that is sparked by the things that break our hearts, that take from us the things that make the very most sense of all, and for the most part, were left, or so they thought, with the shell of the reality of who they are. Little did they realize that the things they have experienced was the Fire of Spirit refining them so that they may shine brightly like diamonds, might be able to wade through the ocean of uncertainty and come to the surface brand new.
This blog is about personal power, is about taking the glimpse of Heaven that comes with the visions of hell on earth and turning them all into our own personal power items.
Personal Power Items
I am a minister….Kahuna Ali’i Wahine in manifest, if you will, and I know the meaning of the energy behind each of my own Items of Power. Included in this collection of personal oddities are many sea shells, crystals, and trinkets …even golf cart keys….regardless of what each of them symbolizes to anyone, they are each special to me. Each item did not end up as mine without its own personal cost… beliefs I’d held for far too long, Truths about me that were not mine, and things that symbolized the Path upon which I trek at the moment, and at the moment the Path which I trek is a storied one. It is filled with tragedy and heartache, and as much, triumph, magic and Truth. It is these intangible things that make the tangible things mean that much more to me. They are indicative of the power that lies within me and me alone that is the Power and the Magic and more than that, the Miracle that is Me.
These personal power items are not meant to be magical talismans, and their magic is only held by me and in my own thoughts and my own inclinations. Their magic is the magic that I have put forth into my own growth and my own life so as to have them as a constant reminder of who I am and who I have always been, even and especially when who I am and what I am is in manifest. And the truth is that we are all “in manifest,” all on our way to being all who we are all the time. That alone is magical in and of itself.
The purpose of this blog…
That is easy – the purpose of this blog is to fan the flames of change and the inspiration to seek your dreams in a big fat way, to bring about the spark needed by us all to look within ourselves and see there that there is indeed something there that we need to give to the world as the gift that we can only give. It may be that you want to do something with your life that is meaningful, and my mission with this blog is to help you never to lose that desire, because it is in the desire and the intention that we have in each of us that compels us to do greater things in the world and to be the end result of Spirit’s refinement of who we are after having walked barefoot over the coals and through the Fires of Life.
The Fires of Life are those things that make us feel our soul as it bleeds out the pain. The Fires of Life are those times when we cannot bring ourselves to believe that the thing that has happened in our lives has happened, and while it might appear that there is no hope, if we bother to look at the thing that seems to be eating our lives from another angle we find that it has a new appearance. We find that there is another way to deal with it. We find that the Fire was not without reason and we find, ultimately, the spark and the intention and the desire, not only to also find that healing right there where we left the pain, but also, our very Selves.
My Own Fire
I did not come to this place of forgiveness, of being able to look at a thing from another angle without help. I had help, and without the help…yes, I would still have gotten here where I am now in this time in my life, but the Path would have been a lonely one, to say the least. It is not an easy Path, to heal one’s self, and it is not an easy trek, the trek to Wholeness, but it is well worth all the slings and all the arrows and all of the everything that I went through just to be able to sit here, no longer in my Jesus Christ Pose, but more, in my own Light and my Own Soul and most of all, My Own Self.
My story is simple. I am a survivor of Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse, and rather than sit in my pool of pity I chose, this time, to do things the way that I am supposed to – I opted to go through the Fire…to get counseling, reach out, make friends, tell my story to others…and in the year that has passed I have found many things within me that I knew were there but that I was too afraid to let the world see. I was scared to let the world see that I am smart, afraid because for a long time I equated “smart” with “intimidating,” and the two are no where near being the same thing. For many years I felt that what I had to offer the world was not good enough for human beings to know about, but then my thoughts changed when new people showed up and told me that I was wrong about being wrong about me. These new people …some of them not “new” but in a sense they were, at least to me, because of the time that had passed….told me that I was wrong, that I am truly magnificent and that I have so much to offer the world and that I really needed to let that light shine through because my end of the world needed to not be so dark and scary and that yes, I was just the very person whose Light was brilliant enough to not only share, but also to help others become empowered by it.
My own story is like any other abuse survivor’s is, but the end is not the same, because I am writing the rest of it as the days go by. I would never have imagined in a million years that I would write books and inspire the masses with my words. I would never have thought for one moment that it was my gift, the Aloha within me, to give to the people in my world, so that they might have that moment in their own lives where suddenly the pain makes a little bit of sense and now since they have seen their own story through the Light of another they too can go on out into the world and live their own version of the Prayer of Jabez.
Jabez translates, sort of, to “pain, sorrow,” and biblically, the Prayer of Jabez tells us that Jabez told God that he would like it if Spirit blessed him and to enlarge his territory, meaning that he needed God to bless him with the means by which he would be able to go out into the world and do his Jabez thing, and that is what this blog is all about – gettin’ out there in the world and livin’ out your own Prayer of Jabez. The Prayer of Jabez, at least and since it is that I am translating it and giving it to you all in the “N.A.T.” (New Age Translation), our Jabez Prayer is in the book of 1 Chronicles, verses 9 and 10...” …we are more honorable than many others, and since it is that we, like Jabez, were brought through pain borne by our mothers, we can look to Spirit and say “I thank You, Great Spirit, for blessing my Life, for enlarging my Tribe! Please Guide Me and continue to keep me out of harm’s way so that I may go out into Life and Share my part of its goodness…” and Spirit heard and blessed the Child…”
My own story caused me to want to reach out, to want to heal, to want to know what it was and still is that makes me be the person who I am, and more, makes me be all who I am, all the time. This is not just me telling you all that you can do anything that you want to do with your life, but that you can do anything that you want to do with your life and that yes – you can do it big and grand and large and call it yours…and that is my aim with this blog. I want you to see and to read with your own eyes about the amazing nature of the Human Spirit when it is coupled with the Soul of Love and the intention of going out into the world and being amazing people. I want you all to realize through recognition that all things are possible if we allow them to be and that everything that you see and sense in your head is the truth of you and that if it is an ugliness of truth that you have the option to change that Truth and make it something conducive, not only to your life path, but more, your own Soul’s purpose.
My own Soul’s Purpose
When I walked the walk of the Firedancer and slowly prodded over the proverbial coals, I had no clue that it would be the start of my Life. That was almost 5 years ago and 5 years ago I was not this person. I mean, I was, physically, but I have walked dearly many times over the hot coals, danced through the Fires of my own life, through the abuse, through the losses of all things material and most of the people who were such a large part of my life during the acquisition of those things. I would not change one thing about the things that I have gone through, because without those heart aches and without all the uglies and the things that made me cry so many tears, without all the shame caused by victimization, and without having experienced the things that I did, I might not be here to tell you that daily I see the flip side of that pain, and that daily I am granted yet one more chance, through the people who come to me for guidance, for the soothing of the pains and the fires of their own lives, one more chance to stand in front of a group of people telling them that there needs to be change and that no one deserves to be another person’s victim…
This is my life now. This is the life that, through those Fires and all those tears, I now live. While I might, to those who spend their time with me and who are a dear part of my Tribe, be all the rock and roll snarky chick they all know and Love (I Love You Guys, too…and you all know who you are), they also all know that my greatest wish in life is not that I realize all my materially tangible dreams, but more, that they also do. They know that if they are seeing the fruits of their own Fire Walk, that they are now on the other side of the hill. They know that there are always going to be Fires in Life, always going to be that opportunity to walk the Flames and Coals again, and now they also know that it is the very Fire upon which we each walk that makes us Shiny, refined and brilliant, like Platinum when the light hits it just at the right angle.
My job as a minister has, through the Fires, allowed me to branch off into other areas of ministry, including Speaking Publicly to those in official position, telling them my own story and how more needs to be paid attention to when they are called to do what they are tasked with as law enforcement, telling them that they need really to not tell an abuse victim that they can just leave, because just that alone can get a person killed….there is so much that a whole lot of people just do not know, and yes, I know that at least in my own Life, I am just the Chick who is meant to tell them that there is so much they do not know and so much more that they can do and that truly, all they need to do is view it all from a different angle…
Now, I am willing to bet that there is at least one person reading this who has their own stories of days walking the line, of the heart burning and the very Bones of the Soul alive and well with the flame of intention, of Love and of things that only one person is meant to be the thing that ignites the Fire in the Belly….
Betcha I’m right….and I am betting, too, that you now are more willing than ever to not see those Fires of Life as just one more reason to pitch a bitch…I bet now you can see the endlessness of who you really are, all in the reflection of the pain borne by you as you go through the Fire of your Life….
Rev. Roxanne K. Cottell is a book author, healer, Spiritual Consultant. She is a public speaker who advocates for victims and survivors of domestic violence and emotional abuse. She is the Co-founder of The Sisterhood of the Soul and the creator of the Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui healing with hula program. To contact her regarding booking speaking engagements, to inquire about writing for you or for creative coaching sessions for business, “Corporate Soul Coaching” or for guidance to any of the Fires of Life issues, please contact her via email by clicking here
(c) 2013 Roxanne K. Cottell . All rights reserved.