An angry, scary God…the things I learned in church

I Know that I am not the only one who grew up scared to death of God…

There are things that we are taught as children that we are not, when we are children, allowed to question for fear of reprimand, and the reprimand in this case is that of eternal damnation.

My childhood is marred with the memory of those words, etched forever there in my mind where I can hear it still, but now that I hear it, it sounds ridiculously archaic…and not even medieval archaic…just really, really stupidly archaic and ridiculous. I lost a lot of sleep over the things that I was told on a daily basis, and all to keep me in check with their rules. I love them, but now that I am a lot older and now that I know things and have been around for almost 43 years, I also know that it was their way, not only of passing on their beliefs, but doing so in the ugliest possible way they could have, and they did not know better or really any other way because that is also the way that they were taught about the things that they were told to believe.

I think I always questioned what it was that I was told was the truth, because sometimes I really thought my parents believed what they read and took it as being factual, and from time to time I will hear one of them say “this is in the word,” meaning that the thing that they are watching on television – typically the news and politics – is somehow “Biblically” correct. While I respect that they believe what they believe, I frankly, have chosen a different Path. I have chosen a Path which is closest to my Soul and does not insult my intelligence. I do not ‘belong’ to any religion. I only follow Spirit and when Spirit Guides, I follow…I listen.

I am moved to say something about this, because there is an entire generation of people on this planet who were really confused as to why it was that we were taught what we were, and more, why would you want us to be afraid of anything? Why would you expect us to want to stick with a belief that told us that for every little thing we do there is a price to pay, that we are judged by a jealous God who strikes down his own children when he is angry with us? Why would you opt to scare us? I was told that the way that I believe in Spirit is wrong, and when I asked how it could be wrong when what I was doing was the same thing that I recall them doing, and no one questioned them. But don’t let me relieve my mind and seek my own truth…just because it is not what you believe.

Call me a heretic, a heathen, sinner…it won’t phase me, and I won’t care, and it won’t matter, because I know the truth. I know that I am a child of God and that I am Loved by an Altruistic Creator who is Unconditionally Loving, Who also Loves my gay and lesbian friends, my drug addicted friends, my friends who like to worship trees and animals and my friends who like to drink a lot of beer…every single person on the planet is Loved by Our Creator. I am Loved by a Creator Who is merciful and gracious and Who is always on my side. I know that there is nothing in this Life that is not without Love, and no matter what anyone has told me in the past I know that there is no vengeful God, that there is only Spirit who is all around us, and who is always Loving us, never punishing us and always making us know that we are meant to be here and meant to Love one another and to Be here with One Another and to share in this Lifetime.

I don’t know about any of you reading this, but I know that I sit here writing this, a mix of emotions because I know that there are probably legions of kids out there in the world who are sneaking around to be normal. I did it, and I did it because I had to. If I didn’t do my fair share of sneaking around I would not be the me who I am today. No matter what anyone else thinks, I was as normal as I could be back then, given the idea that I did not realize the reason then that I know now why it is that I was kind of a peculiar kid. I grew up to be Wholly Loving and immensely eccentric in many ways, but I have always Known, deep down in the Bones of my Soul, that God was Good. I always knew that one day I would be able to tell at least one person that God is not a scary large guy who lives up above the clouds and throws lightning bolts when he’s mad and when he is kicking back he is bowling with his buddies, having beers and pickin’ up bowling alley bar flies.

Parents, please do not forget that your children have big fat imaginations, and everything that you tell them, that any significant adult in their lives tells them, those little kids believe it. I know this. I was one of those little kids. My parents, God bless ’em, used to scare the hell out of me with all of their threats of my being left behind in the rapture. They didn’t know better. They were scared into believing this, too. If it were not for my questioning everything I wanted to know about, and without the guidance and the Love that I was shown by adults in my life who explained to me that there were other ways to believe, that it was always my choice to believe what felt the best and closest to my own Soul and that no one had the right to force me to believe anything. While my body would be in the church, my mind and soul wandered a lot. I have written a lot of poetry sitting in church…drifted off to sleep in the middle of sermon at church…been dragged to church sick as a dog because …because it was church, that’s why, and God was there, that’s why, and when God tells your mom to tell you that Sunday is HIS day, well, you better GET there and do it NOW!

Wow! Really?
Yeesh !!

So, instead, guys, can you do the future adults a favor and not scare the hell into them like it was scared into me? I believed in so many things that were so fantastical and hard to believe and for a long, long time I doubted what I knew was the Truth of me, because it is also still and now the very truth of me.I grew up to be the opposite of what I was taught was the truth of me, and you know what? It fits…perfectly.

Do the world a favor and stop scaring your kids into believing in your God, because the thing that usually happens after a while that they start believing in their own God.

I Know.
I did it.

Stop bullying your kids into believing what insults their very Souls!

I LOVE YOU ALL !
ROX

 

 “The Bones of The Soul” 

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About ReverendRoxie22

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