‘Tis The Season…Giving and buying are two very different things

It seems like every year we all go through the madness of buying stuff for people…what for?

I get asked every year where it was that I bought whatever it is that I have given anyone as a gift…you can imagine the surprised look on their faces when I simply breathe the words, “I didn’t – I made that…” and yes, this is the basics of the Spiritual side of Giving gifts versus buying them

Imagine yourself and imagine that you are waking up yesterday long before the sun rises. Imagine that feeling you had when you were out there, cell phone in hand, making sure to it that the others in your party of gift buying marauders went out into the Holiday Wilderness of merry mad-making. Imagine how frustrated it makes you that you cannot afford this, that and whatevahs for whoevhas, and now recall that feeling within you, that heavy weight of your own disappointment when you come to accept the idea that this year, and if you are like a lot of people, for years already, you simply cannot stray from your own budget. Yes, the holidays in this country…hell…in every country…has become a madness of who can buy a better gift than who, who can impress someone else, not with the thought behind the gift, but more, the motive. No one ever thinks about the motive behind a gift.

I always have.

The Motive Behind the Gift

Be honest, guys…you are as much a sinner in the church of buying something simply to impress someone else, or perhaps, and this is usually the case, it is that you are in a competition with someone else to see who can buy the best gift as anyone else can try hard to say they never did is.It is a sad truth about us here in the west – we love our bling. We are the blingiest bunch ever…but we don’t have to be.

I hate to tell you this, folks, but the best gifts that people end up with are not on any store shelf. You see, unless it is your kid who you are scrambling about over, the gift is meaningless to someone else unless it is something that they can use. If they like whatever it is that you bought – great, but still, there is that thing in your purse or pocket that gets lighter and lighter and those things which come in the mail are not going to be different. They are still gonna get sent to you, and you are still going to have to pay them. Either way, unless you can afford to still pay them, which, I know that collectively the thinking is that we each like eating far more than we like to impress people, and this is more so when there are kids involved…that really, this year, there are not a whole lot of us who can afford to shop like we used to.

This year, let the motive behind the gift be all about Love, and if there is anything that I know that I Love MORE than anything else it is when someone who is part of my life takes the time to really think about what it is that I can use, and more, what it is that I will Love even more than something off of a store shelf because when we make the gifts we intend to give, not only is our own specific energy also associated with that gift,  that same Love energy that we put into it is compounded by a whole lot, and it is all due to the energies which we are putting into a thing. I know this is the truth. It was about twelve years ago that I stopped buying gifts for anyone other than my kids and starting making them, and in some cases, the “making” of a gift was simply something that I did for them….a favor of some sort, or perhaps there was some editing work or marketing that they needed done…maybe it was what I refer to as being a “Reverend Correspondence,” which is simply something that a member of my own Tribe really needed for some issue happening in their lives that only I and they knew about.

Sometimes, the gifts which mean the most are the ones which are intangible

My line of work is that of healing. I am ordained. It is my calling to reach out to people and ask what ails their Souls. However, I still need my day job, which is in marketing, in promotions, in all things communicative, and since it is like that, since it is that I somehow complement all the people in my life in one way or another, it makes sense that when they ask me what I would like from them for Christmas, my easy answer is “If I need you to (fill in favor here), just please be able to do it and that will be the best gift ever!”

And you know what? They do not fail me. You see, when we are willing to give of ourselves in a manner that is more helpful than egotistical, when we are willing to shed a bit of ourselves, within reason, that is, and give it to someone else who we know will appreciate that exchange of energy, that is the point at which, to an extent, we have learned something about who we are. When I make a gift for someone, it is a very Sacred Moment for me, the moment that I happen upon the perfect gift that would match this one perfectly positioned in my life recipient, and the best part is that no matter what, I know what I give to them is markedly appreciated. To those who know me the most and the very best, I am that one person they know they can go to in their time of need and that I will open my ears and my heart and my Soul to them, and in that exchange I am gifted by them with something that nothing could compare with – I am allowed a portion of their Selves, and that, my dear readers, is an absolutely priceless gift because in it is the gift of Aloha, the gift of Lokahi (unity) and most of all, the gift of the Soul.

So, since it is that MANY of you have asked me how it is that I manage to make sure that the people who I consider as being the very most important in my life who are not also my kids or my siblings, the answer is very easy….

I Make the Gifts that I give each year to the people who have bothered to do as much for me…and yes, they all know exactly who they are, and when me and your Christmas gift this year meet up, I promise you that the moment you open it you will know, for sure, that a LOT of my time, caring, energy and most of all, My Aloha, went into it.

There are a lot of people on this planet right now who are, at this moment, struggling for a way to present a gift to their loved ones who have no idea what to make or give to them….send me an email…let’s think about it, shall we?

When this time of year comes around, you have to ask yourself one question…”What would mean more to me…something that someone went and bought, or something that someone took the time to really think about me and what I am all about and went according to that?”

Second choice…hands down….(wrote she as she sat writing this while staring at a framed picture of hula girls who are now mothers themselves and who once were my own hula students from years ago…)

As always-


Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co-Founder of Na Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a blogger, book authorchoreographer and Spiritual Adviser. If you would like information about “ROCK your NUPTIALS” Weddings or simply just to contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private hula or Spiritual Guidance sessions with her feel free to send her an email.
(c) 2012 Roxanne K. Cottell. All Rights Reserved


About ReverendRoxie22

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