There is a difference between what we Believe and what the Truth of Us Is
Often, when working with people, I find that much of the drama that is so large a part of all of our lives is directly related and connected to the things that we have been told and things that have been assumed as what we are to other people. Belief is not only about religion – I have said that a million and one times to many of the Souls which have graced my life with their very tortured presence. The thing that has drawn a lot of people to me in regards to working with those who seek Spiritual Healing or Counsel is that what made their lives so…bleh…at the time is not the actions but the words that were said which preceded any action at all.
I won’t lie about the fact that for a long, long time, I believed myself to be the weak little girl who still surfaces from time to time when it seems to her that the rest of me is somehow not adequate enough to be “approved” of or accepted just as I am. It took me some time to grow into the idea that there are going to be people on this planet who are not going to like me, who do not want to know me, and who I will never be up to par for, but that is just their opinion. They can say and believe whatever it is that they want to of me, and it won’t bother me because the simple truth is that I have learned over the course of my lifetime that I am not always going to be everyone’s favorite cup of tea. Yet that much isn’t even nearly the thing that hurts us more than much else will, and you can believe what you want to about this next thing that I write, but if you are having issues with your own sense of Self whenever other people are inclined to give you a not so raving review of you in terms of their opinion of you, that is not theirs to deal with. That is yours to deal with.
The Good Opinion of Other People
I cannot quote Dr. Wayne Dyer directly, but he mentioned one time in one of his books or perhaps it was a live event, that we are not obligated to live up to the good opinions of other people. We have no business trying to be or not be what other people say and believe we are. That is their version, their view, their opinion of us, and in their lives it will fit because in their lives is where they live. This does not mean, though, that it has to be true in our own lives, not by any measure. When we think about how many of our own inner demons are caused because we were so worried about what other people thought of us, and in kind we chose to try hard to fit ourselves in to the mold that they have set for us, we also found that we might have bristled at the idea that we were not standard, not good enough, not right, in essence, for someone else to approve of Who We Are for Real.
Other peoples’ opinions of us do not belong to us. They never have. They never will. When someone else forms an opinion of us that is not what we want them to think about us, many of us do what we can to make it known to them that the way they have perceived us is “wrong,” when in fact it is NOT wrong – but you are.
You are Wrong if you think that you have control over what other people think of you. You are wrong if you have the idea in your head that you have to do anything at all to change their minds about you because the truth is that people are ready and willing to form their own opinion of you, of anyone, right upon first meeting. It is like this because it allows us to delve deeper into that thought and it allows us to not only find out if we are wrong about them, but more, if they are right about us. And the only way that they can be right about us is if we allow them to be right.
In order for anyone to be right about us and who we are there must be an active exchange of energies and actions that tell people that they are right. You might be giving that vibe to them without realizing it, and that is plenty enough for a lot of people to believe what it is that is their opinion of them. Many people do not give other people even the tiniest bit of what might be someone else’s truth because they are so rigid in their own way of believing in their own thoughts that no one can ever grow out of that thought and once again, we take a ride on the Karmic wheel only to be taught the lesson again and again.
Eventually we tire of the idea that what we are being told is the truth of us. Eventually we want to find out for ourselves what really is our truth.
I have been seen as being weak, as being entirely too emotional, as being flighty, as being somewhat of an indecisive person. I can find not one human being who has also not been all these things, and while these things, at one time or another in my lifetime, may have very well been the truth of me, I have, in no uncertain terms, made it my mission in my own life and in my own Soul’s presence, to live my Life by means of the things that are also true of me. I know that I am strong and in possession of strong character. I know that when I say I am going to do something that I will do it and that if I find I am not able to, regardless of the reason why I am not able to, I will also tell people that I am not able, no matter what. I know that I am in possession of a high moral regard for the Spiritual Life of other people, and I Know, too, that more than a lot of other things that I know I am, the one thing that I know I have always been is a very good human being who has, just like everyone else has, done some really not so good things.
I am sure there are more things about my Self that I could add to both sides of that list, but more than much else, I know that when I look at the things on this list that they are believable because I make them believable to me. I know that when I look at my list of ways of being that yes. of course I can be all of those things that are not so great, but all the time I try hard to be the best Me that I can afford myself to be because I also know that when I am the Best Me I Can Be, I am not only improving my own Life, but also, in some small way, I am giving that same living energy and that same living truth to those who mean the very most to me. I may not have all the right answers, and I might not make all the right choices, but they are the Truth of me and the answers and the choices are all mine to make and while not everyone will agree with them, the beautiful part of it is that no matter what, those who encounter me at any time at all is getting the very truest Truth of me.
If we could just ask ourselves that one question before we head into Dramaland, the question “Why Do You Believe What is not the Truth of You?” and answer it honestly and more, accept the answer that we come up with…well, I can tell you right now from my own experience that when you allow yourself to not only accept the truth of You from others and more, Know that Yours is the Truth by which you are meant to Live and Be, the world becomes a very different, very exciting, very beautiful place to be!!
I Love You All!!
Reverend Roxanne Cottell is the Kumu Hula and Creator of the Spiritual Hula Program for Women and the Co_founder ofNa Hula O Ka Wahine ‘Ui. She is a writer, book author, choreographer, and Spiritual Adviser.To Contact Roxanne for information about the Spiritual Hula Program for Women or information regarding private sessions with her feel free tosend an email.
(c)2012 Roxanne Cottell. All Rights Reserved