July 5, 2012
It is time to ROCK THE LOVE !
We cannot effect change unless we are willing to look the demon in the eye and love it, rather than try to kill it with yet more rage…
Rage works when we are speaking in terms of very kick ass rock music, and rage works when we are readying ourselves for the balancing or the leveling of things in our midst that somehow no longer work for the greater good of society as a collective whole. While it is a wonderful thing to bear witness to the rage that is presented to us via the long drawn out primal scream of an indie band’s lead vocalist, the last thing that our world needs anymore for any one of us is a sense of rage that is lonely and desperate and has no where to disipate.
And really, that is where ROCK THE LOVE came from – a place within me that was so very angry that often times it would bring me to tears. Sometimes when we are angry with the things that we have had to deal with alone – and by alone I mean that even as there were people who wanted to help and wanted to understand, no one, without having first been there themselves, would ever know what it is to be in a constant mindset of “why is this happening and why am I not good enough for someone, for a whole lot of someones, to just love me just as I am? Why is it that always, even though I am the one in tears, why am I still being treated in a manner that is just not fit for any living creature to have to live through?” It took a very long time for me to wake up to the idea that it was not me alone who brought me to this place where the idea that other people cause violence in our communities is a wrong, very incomplete picture of the reality of where it is that violence in our communities is spawned from.
The answer to that is very simple – it starts at home.
Yes. That’s right. I said it. Now deal with it and know for sure that the things that many, many people in my own generation are now sitting in anger management group sessions, many women who suffered abuses, like me, from the time they were small children and who now take up space two or three times a week in therapy, and who are now questioning where it was in their own lives that the abuses began and worse than that, why it was that those abuses led to the acceptance that the bigger ones would be accepted, would be ok…well,. they never were ok, and never were they accepted – not by any one of us, but it was the thing that defined us, every one of us…all of us -a sad outcome to the sisterhood that none of us cared to be a part of but have been, by now, well educated in the ways that we allow what happens to us to happen. Yes, by not knowing or recognizing that we made what we have been through acceptable through our own fears of what might happen – that is how we, the victims and even the survivors, make abuse normal…through our fears of what might happen we unwittingly make it normal and acceptable, even though for the very life of us nothing that shows hurting someone else as being acceptable really ever is. What it is is the rationalization of the thing that invades our lives…no abuse, no violence, no fracturing of hearts, minds, souls, bodies is ever, ever acceptable.
There is not one person who has “been there” who will tell me that I am wrong, who will be able to convince me that to an extent, from the things that had happened to them from a very young age in their lives, that somehow, the actions placed upon them in childhood did not somehow contribute to the things that we each allowed to become the monster in the closets of our minds. While I will not sit here and tell you all the ugly story of my life beginnings, and neither will I tell the world who it was who opened the door for me to believe that “this is just the way things are for me,” I will say that after a lifetime of belieiving all that I chose to take as the truth of me, I am finally accepting that what I went through, even and up to a year ago this coming September, was never mine to start with.
No one asks to be treated harshly, namely not a three year old child, but this is when it starts, and normally with a person in whose trust and sense of safety we are placed. That my mother did not see the truth of the thing that was started back then when left in the care of the person she trusted is one thing, but that no one other than my dearly departed Uncle Jack chose to help me see my way through is the ugliness that became what I know as “real”. No one wants to believe that they have allowed their precious children in the hands of caretakers who are more akin to schoolyard bullies, but it happens everyday- and the crappy part is that when those children grow into adults we end up blaming everyone else OTHER than the person who first abused us, and we do so out of fear. Up until just a few weeks ago I feared a whole lot more than only ugly hairy spiders. I feared being wrong in my decisions, and more, I feared that I would never be good enough to be Loved by anyone, that I had to work for and even beg for people to Love me.
This is the lie which spawns the Love and this is the lie which gave birth to Rock The Love…
This is the madness which prods me on to telling the world that this is not ok, that we are not ok, that the world needs to return to its origins and begin to Love again, to return to our place in life that tells us that we are not now meant to be of anything other than that of Love and very, very giving service to one another. We have stepped aside from our inborn nature to Love the pain away, to be there in times when it is that our larger communities are affected by the idea that force and a mentality of brutality are what will turn our world around, but the truth is that we are who have and are stil, as a whole, the very ones who wish to rebuild our lives by still instituting methods of force and anger rather than with the only thing that has ever killed any demons ever – the only thing that kills the demon is Love, much like the only thing that kills the darkness is light.
ROCK THE LOVE will shed light on the darkness of all that has become our normalcy, and it will be through the beatuty of creativity, of music played loud and in your face sometimes, and other times quietly and gently like hula, that our message of Love, of hope and of happier communities brought forth through the magic that is the happiness that is family, and know, too, that family is not only those whose bloodlines you share, but are also, through the things and events which have visited your life, my life, our lives collectively, those people who share the similarities – the ones who we can say get it, not because they read about it but because they lived it too…
So thank you so much for choosing to change the way things are done and more, thank you for your support, your Love and all you are…aloha !!
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