…no one ever plans to be abused, but it happens to the best of us.
We all heal at one point or another.
We all wake up one day and think about the first time that it happened to us, and we look at ourselves in the mirror, and we see either a shiny new version of ourselves or we see what someone else has always seen. The trick in this is not that we see what we do but that we accept what we see. Healing, I have found, is not about feeling better only, but about the journey that every person who has been abused must take – the road back to the Self.
And I speak much of the Self in all of its Divinity.
There is a lot that happens when first you are abused, when first all the things that you thought were the truth become a lie – a horrible lie that no one ever told you is a possibility. The only thing you ever saw was a happy union between two adults and that was your ideal of what a relationship with someone else was. Then one day you wake up realizing that while that is the ideal, it is, more and more these days, namely if you have been through the hell that all abuse survivors go through, is the thing that makes good women cringe because most of the time, it is a good woman who is abused.
Then there are those who would use a false claim of abuse against an innocent person, and that innocent person’s life is suddenly shaken up and turned inside, out, and the accused must prove that he or she didn’t do what was blamed on them. This is an insult to people like me. These lies are the worst of all because as an abuse survivor one knows well the psychological and spiritual hell that a person goes through when they are being beaten, when they are being belittled, when they are so afraid of everything and everyone and when you are not sure who you can trust.
Then one day, you see through the haze that was your life and suddenly, all that made no sense very suddenly makes sense, and once again you can see your true self…
Ix..pronounced “eesh,” is the Mayan Symbol of the Jaguar, of the High Priestess, of the Queen of the Jungle…
It is the Jaguar spirit which we all possess, bringing with her the feline femininity which is equated with the power within. It is this power, this spirit that eventually becomes an abused person, an abused woman, and at that point, the battered woman and the soul of the Ix within her become one.
She is stealthy with her movements, and cunning in thought, and as the days pass her strength can be seen and felt, and her power is what makes her beautiful.
What no one ever thinks about when they are being beaten is that one day the thing that we named “weakness” becomes the power within. It is the Ix within which brings us to the point where we choose to no longer be seen as the victim that once we were but now, now we see only the empowerment that came with the perceived weakness that at one point, we each were…
…welcome to the other side of the long, dark jungle…
I Love You All !!