Girlie Mojo

There comes a time in the life of every abuse victim to rise up and be a survivor

When it comes to things that break our hearts, there is nothing that makes my heart break faster than does a fellow female of the human persuasion willingly giving up her right to her own Girlie Mojo.

Call it our femaleness, our magical feminine selves, that thing that we do…whatever…whatever it is that you want to refer to your being able to well up the strength within you to be able to be all your beautiful girlie self that prompts you now to think a whole lot about taking your rightful place at the altar of womankind and use what you were born with, call it what you want, but there is one thing that is absolute in it, and that one thing is that you gave it up to one person at one time, and you allowed it to flounder and to just sit beneath the surface of your soul, and now there it is, scratching and clawing its way to the surface and now is the time that you have to let it rise to the top like cream.

There is a reason that now, in this time of your life, that you are wanting badly to wear make up and high heels, that you want to do your nails and get a facial and saunter around in those high heels as though you can run a mile in them (I can), why it is that you get giddy when you are in the company of other women and more, why it is that you can physically feel the stirrings of a man’s soul, even as you may have only recently met said man or perhaps seen said man as only a friend for many years.

It is your Girlie Mojo, and I am glad to be the one to reintroduce you to that woman you thought you left behind when it was that you thought you would be able to change the man you Loved, and more, the “man” you became. You were turned into something that you were never meant to be, and at first that was a victim, and then one day you chose to call yourself a survivor. And now, here you are, all survived and gorgeous from the heat of the battle, and you really, really want your nails done ..haha!! You are not abnormal, honey – you are a girl and now is the time that you have to take the time to reinvent all the girl you can possibly be.

It is our Sacred and secret weapon against all who would try hard to take from us the Power that was ours before the abuse began, the Power that has always been there, the Power that you Are and were meant as. Beauty is Power, ladies, and Power is very sexy, sometimes more when a woman wears it than when a man does. That Power will never go away, will always belong to you, and can never be taken from you, and I say that it is time that you let it loose and let the fur fly…it is time to let your Girlie Mojo take the reigns and take you back on the Path you are meant to be on!  So what if you want to wear something tight or hot or cute? That is your right to do so! And so what if you want to do is sit and watch chick flicks and what of it if you just want to sit eating strawberries and chocolate and wash it all down with cheap champagne? What of it if you want your own tool belt to be soft pink and who cares that your work boots have to match and so do the gloves you wear to protect your perfectly manicured hands?

What you are feeling is nothing strange. You have felt this way all along, and you have denied within you the Power that is in a beautiful woman, and let me tell you what – ALL women, as I have said and maintained for many years, are beautiful creatures, all of us, and there is no man alive who can tell me otherwise. I don’t care if you are pear shaped or shaped like a damned stick, don’t care if your hair is blue or if you have a million and one tats and piercings everywhere – you are a part of the Divine Feminine, and you are beautiful and perfect just the way you are.

There is nothing wrong with healing from the travesty that was once your life, once your reality, through means of the Girlie Mojo.

Today can be the day that you would begin to use your own brand of Girlie Mojo

When I chose to no longer allow my husband to lead my life for me, and when I chose to move my things out of the room that we used to share, that was when I knew that finally, I was strong enough to use my Girlie Mojo to get myself out of a jam that took more than twenty years for me to end up stuck in. I got tired of him calling me names and more tired of my just taking his crap because that is what I had done for two decades. Yes, things are more icy than they were before I chose this way, but this way, even as it seems harder, even as it is testing my strength and testing my resolve and really testing the part in me that fears this guy, this way is the ONLY way that I will heal.

And truly, it is the only way that you will heal, too!

Standing up for yourself is a way of employing the Girlie Mojo. When you recall back to the time when you were directly in the middle of the crapstorm that your life became and you bring back that feeling that you have no choice, no say so, no nothing without this person telling you when you can or cannot do or be or have who you are and what you want, you are calling the ghosts back, not to be revisited but to be extricated from your life. This is what using the Divine Feminine within prompts us to do. It makes us look at who we thought we were when our ordeal began, and it forces us to choose if whether or not we like the way we are being treated and choose to no longer go through what it is, and it is hard to choose not to go through something that we have been going through for long periods of time.

When you choose the way of the empowered Woman, you are choosing the way of the Spirit Warrioress, and you are ultimately exacting your own healing through your willingness to go through, one last time, a lesson that has presented itself to you, to me, over and over again, showing us who we are in the eyes of someone else so that we can see to the truth of who we are to our very weary selves.

When we choose to no longer be in the Shadow of the past, and when we choose to not allow any longer that which became our lives to be who we think we are, this is when the healing begins. This is when the long,hard road back to our Selves begins and this is where we have to watch out for the boulders and the storms that caused us so much pain to be what we will base our lives on. The foundation that we were given prior to becoming the target of someone else’s lack of vision and Soul becomes the ground on which we stand and becomes the ground upon which we rebuild and reinvent who we are and who we will choose to become in time to come.

When we choose to be empowered rather than hindered by what has happened to us and when we see that what we have been through is nothing more than yet one more lesson that we must learn, and most of all, when we can accept that this has been our life to this point but that it does not have to stay the thing that we recognize as such, we have begun to use the Girlie Mojo we were each born with. Once that happens and once it is that we have chosen to go through the pain one last time, this is when we start to see to it that we heal and this is when the doors open for us, doors which lead us into the future, not only as women, but as Spiritually strong and Divinely and finely tuned leaders.

…but you have to want it, and you have to choose it. You have to want to look past what you have been through, choose not to be the victim anymore and choose only to survive the hurts from the past,  choose to be part of something that is simultaneously within us and outside of us through our Sisterhood, through our Divine and Sacred nature, through all that is, was, and ever will be again.

You have to choose to be whole again. You have to choose to heal. You have to choose your Girlie Mojo over the whims of small people.

You can do it. I know you can. I did.

I’m not sorry that I did. I can handle the slings, the arrows, the attrition and the evil eyes. I can handle it all, because I was prepared for this fight- and make no mistake, it is a girl fight if ever there was one.

Choose. You cannot heal until you choose to.

I Love You All !!


(Rev. Roxanne Cottell is a Freelance Writer, Speaker and Spiritual Counselor residing in Southern California. For inquires regarding Stirring your own thing up, would like to discuss planning a charitable rock n roll event, or any other inquiries. send an email by clicking this link . Her latest book, “Goddesses, Priestesses and Queens” can be purchased at and


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